By: Chuck Miller
Writing

Ringo Starr does NOT support Roy Moore’s campaign

Every time I think that people can’t be any stupider … nature proves me wrong.

And when I find out that part of the nature involves the word “Breitbart” – well, you tell me.

Yesterday, Breitbart editor Joel Pollak was interviewed by CNN’s Chris Cuomo about the Alabama senatorial campaign between Democratic nominee Doug Jones and Republican nominee Roy Moore.Β  When asked about the accusations and claims that Roy Moore had participated in sexual relations with teenage girls – including one as young as fourteen – Pollak gave a very surprising defense of Roy Moore’s indiscretions.

Say … what???

Now I’ve heard some lame-ass excuses for Roy Moore’s actions in the past … one person suggesting that Roy Moore was making sure that the teenage girls he dated / got involved with had purity and were untouched (yeesh), or that it was okay for Roy Moore to do what he did because Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an older man, and boom out comes Jesus (well, that just ruined Sunday school for me) …

But using Ringo Starr’s old Johnny Burnette remake as a defense?

Seriously?Β  You couldn’t have dug up Sam Cooke’s “Only Sixteen” or Benny Mardones’ “Into the Night” (She’s just sixteen years old // leave her alone, they say…) as defenses?

And what, using the Stray Cats’ “(She’s Sexy and) 17” or Winger’s “Seventeen” or Rick James’ “17” wasn’t taboo enough?

Trust me.Β  I’m sick of people using song lyrics as some sort of justification for what’s going on in the world.Β  I’ve had people disagree with things I’ve written in this blog post, who would respond to me with “Well, you’re a hater, Chuck, and hater’s gonna hate hate hate hate hate…”

Yeah.Β  That’s about as original as anything else Taylor Swift has ever written.Β  :/

But for a Breitbart reporter to use a Ringo Starr song as a defense for what Roy Moore did in the past …

Man, I can’t wrack my brain over crap like this.

Because, honestly, writing blog posts like this don’t come easy…

Oh my my I can’t take comparisons like this seriously.

Perhaps it would make more sense for me to go take a photograph.

No no no no, I can’t take these lyrical references any more…

I suppose after a few videos like this, it’s all come down to goodnight, Chuck, see you in Vienna.

But if I want to feel better about myself … perhaps all I need is a dose of rock and roll.

But if you’re using Ringo Starr’s classic hits to justify what are just completely repulsive actions … you’re not actually believing these words, I’m suspecting you’re using comments like this as a distraction, an obfuscation.

In other words, you’re trying to snookeroo us.

Sorry … couldn’t resist.

And this is why Breitbart media is about as fresh and detailed as trying to serve Twinkies today that were made in early 1970.

Yeah, had to sneak that one in, too.Β  I’d better end this blog post, or I’ll be throwing in bits about Shining Time Station.

Uh-oh, forgot to turn off the “say a song and the YouTube video pops up” feature on WordPress… too late…