Not the kind of Cougar that would capture a young man’s fancy…

There is a subgenre of car modification and collecting known as the kit car, where you can take a fiberglass chassis and attach it to the interior of a totally different vehicle.  Let’s say, for example, you and your friends built this car from scraps and chunks out of the junkyard, and it runs decently enough, but you need fenders and doors and a hood and a trunk.  That’s where the kit car body comes into play.

You can also use a kit car chassis to snazz up your current ride.  What enterprising hot rod enthusiast wouldn’t want to have rear spoilers and faux hoodscoops attached to his stock Hyundai Elantra?  #hahahahaha

Well, apparently someone took the idea of a “kit car” and went completely nuts.  He took the kit car makings for a 2008 Bugatti Veyron – by the way, if you have to ask what a Bugatti is, you can’t afford it – and he attached it to the innards of … well …

First, let’s see what a REAL 2008 Bugatti Veyron looks like.

So apparently some chud decided he would take a “kit car” chassis that replicates a 2008 Bugatti Veyron … and attach it to a 2002 Mercury Cougar.

Now let’s get a few things straight.  Way back in the day, a Mercury Cougar was a sweet chariot.  But “back in the day” was the late 1960’s, when the Cougar was a less-expensive alternative to the Ford Mustang.  But by 2002, the Cougar had transformed into a budget sedan with some godawful styling and questionable performance capabilities.

So apparently a man in Florida has built this hybrid car – taking a 2002 Mercury Cougar and soldering the body kit for a 2008 Bugatti Veyron on it.  Yep, you now have a Bugatti with rear seats, and an engine for whom changing the oil can be done at your local Pep Boys.  Here’s a link to the story.

So is this really a thing?  Attaching a way-expensive chassis to a utilitarian vehicle?

Well, apparently there’s plenty of these “Cougatti” cars out there.  Someone showed up at a Pittsburgh car show in 2016 with this hybrid car and you could hear in the comments that the knowledgeable car aficionados were not having it.

So let me figure this out.  You’re going to try to create a $1.5 million car on a shoestring budget, by taking a body kit and soldering it to a Ford frame?

And it isn’t even a decent Ford car?  You couldn’t find a ’69 Cougar 390 Eliminator instead?

Trust me.  You want to pick up your date in a 60’s muscle car.  This is the kind of car you need.  Not some fake-ass knockoff wannabe Bugatti mod project that wouldn’t even look authentic in a Hot Wheels collection.

Oh, and apparently someone who did create one of these “Cougatti” cars has been trying to flip it on car sales sites and on private sales through Craigslist for $125,000.  For $125,000 I could buy twenty 2002 Mercury Cougars and still have enough money left over to drive each one of them to Maaco and give them their own custom paint jobs.

Now if Mr. Body-mod really wants to impress me … let’s see him craft up a Bugatti Royale – one of the rarest car models ever crafted, with less than a dozen custom-made Bugatti Royales ever manufactured –

And if he can’t get a real Bugatti Royale, let’s see him take a body kit and bolt it to this little gem.

Ah, the 1991 Pontiac 6000.  Such wonderful memories … 😀