“It’s not supposed to bend like that.”

The second after I fell down … I knew something wasn’t right.

i didn’t feel any pain … but my right foot felt funny.  Not normal.

And yet, I was still able to drive to my day job.

But the longer the day went, the more worried i became that I had fallen on slippery snow and had done something to my ankle.  Maybe I stretched a tendon.  Maybe I wrenched something.

And in that moment … I scheduled a walk-in appointment for my orthotics doctor.

I told him what I had done, and I showed him my foot.

“Let’s get an X-ray and see how things progress.”

“Okay.”

Three X-rays later …

“Okay, Mr. Miller, we’re scheduling surgery for Wednesday.”

Wednesday?

“You broke your ankle.  You actually have a tallus shift in your foot from the break.  If we don’t correct it immediately, you could develop very bad results.”

Oh crud.

And with that … a nurse brought in some crutches and a walking boot.  A bigger walking boot than I dealt with back in 2017 when I broke my left foot.

The prospect is … surgery on Wednesday, most likely to implant some screws in my bones, then no load-bearing on that foot for four to six weeks.

No, it’s gotta be sooner.  I’ve got Trivia Bowl and the Patroons home opener, and I will CRAWL to both events if I have to.

But right now I’m going through emotions.  Not good emotions.  Angry, painful, hurtful emotions.  I spent all last night replaying the fall in my mind.  What could I have done that would have minimized the damage? Well, certainly not falling on the ground would have been tops …

The last time I had bone surgery, it was a long and painful recovery.  It took three months to get my A1C down to a manageable level for surgery.  Then came the recovery period.  Thankfully it’s in a good place today.  But I’m still feeling …

Yeah.  This isn’t three months of waiting until my body can handle the knife.  It’s TOMORROW.  in other words … whatever I did to my ankle … I really did some work to it.

So everybody … please bear with me while I go through this.  My emotions may be in a thousand different places.  Frustration.  Hurt.  Anger.  Fear.  Will I ever drive again?  I mean, this is my right ankle, and my car is set up for a right-footed driver.  Will I be at Opening Night for the Patroons?  Will I be able to compete in Trivia Bowl?

And … most importantly … will I make it through the surgery without the horrifying anesthetic nightmares that have plagued me in the past?

Ugh.  Straight up ugh.

Let me repeat.  Straight up ugh.