Look, if I start writing about how the Albany Patroons coughed up a 10-point lead in Game 3 of the best-of-three game series with Raleigh and lost the game 97-94 AND got eliminated from the TBL playoffs, I’ll be a very depressed person. So I’m not going to talk about that.
I’m going to talk about something that happened earlier yesterday.
Before I went over to the Armory for the game, I needed some drill bits for an upcoming project. And my rule is to visit the two independent hardware stores in the area – DeLollo’s Hardware in Watervliet, and Hatchet Hardware in Troy – before I avail myself to the big chain stores.
That being said, I drove over the Hudson River to Troy, went into Hatchet Hardware, and went aisle by aisle to find the drill bits.
Oh, there they are. And they’re all locked behind glass panels.
I can understand why. Hatchet Hardware recently suffered some robberies, to the point where they’ve actually posted security camera photographs of thieves who’ve filched items from their store.
As I looked over the drill bits, I saw a printed sign on the glass. “PRESS BELL AT FRONT OF AISLE TO SUMMON ATTENDANT.”
I can do that. All I need to do is find the bell, press the bell, and … hmm … find the bell, press the bell and … okay … find the bell … find the bell …
I don’t see any bells. No dinner bell, no cowbell, no Liberty Bell, no Ding Dong School bell …
Just then, another customer walked by. “What ‘r ya lookin’ for, bud?”
“There’s supposed to be a bell somewhere to get a Hatchet Hardware person to come unlock the drill bit cabinet, but I can’t find the bell.”
“Yeah, no, man, I’ll get a guy fer ya,” and off he went.
Eventually a Hatchet Hardware staffer arrived. “How can I help you?”
“I want some drill bits, but I can’t find the bell to press to call you guys to unlock the cabinet.”
“The bell’s over here,” he said, pointing to what looked like a torn adhesive strip. “Oh yeah, we took the bell down last week, it wasn’t working. You should have just reached for one of us to come help you.”
But – but – you had a sign saying press the bell. Did you mean I needed to press someone whose last name was Bell? Did I need to call you on an old Bell Telephone? Or was this some convoluted psychological thought experiment just to see how many people would take the red pill versus the blue pill?
Five minutes later, I purchased my drill bits, and went home. Jeez oh’ petes, people …
And you know what? I’d rather focus on purchasing screws at the hardware store …
Than watching the Patroons get screwed and eliminated in last night’s playoff.
Great … now I’m thinking about that again. Ugh.
Chuck The Writer 
Ahh, thanks for the memory – Miss Frances and Ding Dong School.
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Wait a minute … Canadian Tire used to have summon buttons for help. I don’t recall seeing them in years. Maybe they don’t want customers anymore? Or maybe it’s because the nearest one is an hour (now two) away and I don’t go there. I prefer local stores too, if only for the gas savings. I just wish they had things in stock so I don’t have to order stuff on-line and wait for it to be delivered. I mean the main advantage of the local store is having the merchandise when you buy it, not three weeks later.
Oh dear … now I’m ranting. But notice I didn’t mention the Patroons’ loss. Or even the Canucks’.
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Like everyone else they have a staffing shortage and can’t find anyone who wants to work
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