Yeah, I can fix a camera lens. (Rolling up sleeve) (Saying a prayer)

I purchased this old Nikon 80-200 f/2.8 lens nearly 20 years ago. It was the first external camera lens I’ve ever purchased that wasn’t primarily a kit lens, and I purchased it so that I could capture fast indoor action shots, so long as I had the lens open wide (at f/2.8 aperture) and cranked up my ISO as much as I possibly could (which, since my camera at the time was a Nikon D70, had a maximum ISO of 1600).

I remember purchasing this lens on the cheap, because I believe the previous owner had somehow lost or destroyed the rubber grips on the lens barrel, and tried to compensate by wrapping the barrel with leather tennis racquet grip. Yep, I now owned the only lens that was co-branded by Nikon and Prince.

I mean … it’s a great lens, don’t get me wrong. I’ve used it for nearly 20 years, and it’s gone from my Nikon D70 to my D700 to my Df to my other Df to my F2S to any other Nikon I’ve ever owned. It’s a warhorse. And I’ve gotten some fantastic images from it.

But look at that barrel. Whatever tennis racquet grip was once on there has worn off. Seriously worn off. This isn’t a Serena Williams grip. It’s more like an Anna Kournikova grip – it might look good, but it doesn’t function that well. And yes, I went there. 😀

So I’m kinda wondering to myself … certainly I could send this in and get the leather wrap removed and have some tech add the original rubber grips to it, right?

Or I could save myself some repair costs and (takes deep breath) try to fix this myself.

Yeah, that was my blood pressure going TILT.

Working on a camera lens is not for the weak of heart. One wrong move, and you’re looking at what was once a camera lens and is now, charitably, a bunch of spare parts.

But it can’t be that hard, can it? All I need to do is order the rubber grips … specifically, THESE rubber grips …

And remove the old tennis racquet grip. Which I did. It peeled off like a banana skin. But man, 20 years of gunk and grease were trapped underneath that tennis racquet grip. My fingertips were coated in blackness. Ick.

Okay. Let’s just squeeze this first grip on … got it. Damn, this thing went on tighter than a compression stocking.

Now for the second grip … and … got it.

And just for a lark, I went back to the shopping platform where I acquired these rubber grips, and tried to find out if there were any other options for this old lens?

It was then that I found this little gizmo.

Yes, folks, that is a tripod mount. It slides over the lens barrel and affixes to the tripod.

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I’VE OWNED THIS LENS FOR PUTT’NEAR 20 YEARS, AND NEVER KNEW IT COULD BE AFFIXED TO A TRIPOD?!?!? </facepalm> Of course it could. Why should I even consider that my first lens restoration would be a simple procedure? 😉

All right. We’ve got this all dialed in. Barrel grips attached, tripod collar attached … let’s test this bad boy on something.

(checks calendar)

Hey, wait, are the thoroughbreds racing at Saratoga this weekend? I thought they didn’t start for another week or so. Well, if they’re there, then Chuck will be there. (packing my Nikon Df and my trusty old telephoto lens).

This could be fun. And a great way to test if this 20-year-old piece of glass still has some gleam to it.

Up to the track I go. Nikon Df in the bag, with this 80-200 f/2.8 lens and the newly acquired tripod mount.

I set up near the final turn of the track. The program says four of the first five races on the card will operate from the outer “dirt” track, so I’ll get a few chances here.

All right, let’s see what we can get from the first race. And down the stretch they come.

Okay. Not bad. A little soft.

It was then that I noticed the lens was on “manual” mode. Oopsie. Re-adjust. Re-frame.

Let’s do this again.

And …

Down the stretch they come.

A little better … but let’s test this lens by using its new grips, rather than the tripod mount.

But first … I need some water. It’s triple-digit heat out here, and I need to hydrate.

By the way, did you know that a small bottle of water costs $5.50 at Saratoga? Oh, and this place has gone cashless??

Bullshit. This is a gambling facility. Just another way for Donald Trump to track what I spend so I can pay twice as much on it in taxes. And don’t tell me differently. Ugh.

All right. Off comes the tripod mount.

Let’s line this up and see if the lens’s focus tracking feature still works after all these years.

And here we go …

Down the stretch they come, and …

Okay. I can work with this. It’s not Competition Season worthy – apparently my thoughts of what is considered “Competition Season worthy” might be a bit fallow after yesterday – but at least I know that my upgrades and repairs on the lens were successful.

But now I have to go home. That redness in my skin isn’t from embarrassment, it’s from a nasty dose of sunburn. I’m going to feel this today, for sure. Ugh.

But I have a new working lens in my digital arsenal.

And I’ll take that any day of the week.

Preferably a shadier, cooler day than today. 😀