Week 4 of the 2010 Elbo Room Trivia Tournament

I would have had a better night if I stayed home and slept in.  Suffice it to say that when you burn off your two skips on the third and fourth questions (what city was originally known as Dairy Church, Pennsylvania; in what film did Jennifer Lopez play a member of a Scrabble club), and then miss the 10-pointer (what pop singer’s first dramatic role will be in the film “The Last Song”), I finished out the first quarter with -4 points and three other teams had at least a perfect 30 points.  By the way, the answers above were Hershey, the Wedding Planner, and Miley Cyrus.

What I did see happen, though was a team actually using a smartphone to derive correct answers.  Was it an established team whose nickname could have been a Homer Simpson exaltation of excitement, or a team name borrowed from an American Idol contestant and the peel-out of tires?  Nope, they played clean.

No, it was a new team that happened to be in the bar for the first time.  The question happened to be, “How many regular season games did the New York Yankees win last year?”  I wrote down 105, it was really 103.  Again, I’m just driving around Talladega, 30 laps down, just trying to finish the race.  But with that question, I noticed one of the players from the new team, hunched over their cell phone, trying to type in the question and hope that there was enough quality reception at Elbo Room to provide the winning answer.

I immediately signaled General James, the host.  “Cell Phone!” I called out, and pointed in the general direction of the team.

General took the microphone and said, “Again, I remind you, PLEASE no cell phones when playing.”  I looked back over at the team.  The guy who was using a cell phone sheepishly put it back in his pocket.  He got caught.

Dude violated the primary commandment of competitive team trivia etiquette.

Thou shalt not use a wireless device to acquire a trivia answer.

And I don’t care if I was 40 points behind and I don’t even know what their score was.  This is competitive team trivia with a $1,500 grand prize after 12 more weeks of play.  This is not “who’s got the best wireless carrier with the quickest response for a smart phone.”

In fact… true story.  Back when trivia was played at Hooters in Crossgates Mall (also known as “The Golden Years”), I had answered the first five questions right, including a 10 pointer about what TV movie, starring Jimmy Smits and Cheech Marin, was based on a 1950’s TV western series.  BTW, that was “The Cisco Kid.”

Of course, after five questions and about three diet colas, I had to go to the restroom.  I had already handed in my 10-point question, and as I entered the men’s room, I could hear – from one of the stalls – the following: “Hey, man, do you know of a TV movie starring Jimmy Smits and Cheech Marin, I’m here at Hooters trying to win trivia night.”

I finished up what needed to be done, washed my hands, went back outside and let the host know that the next person coming out of the lavatory was using a cell phone to get answers.  The host at the time – General James – got the hint, and gave the requisite “No cell phone use, even in the men’s room” speech.

Apparently the team figured out who tipped the host off, and the fact that at that time I was having a pretty decent run (I finished the evening in second place, which got about 40 wings and various side foods) didn’t help matters.  As the 16th question came around, one of the trivia players – a big burly guy with about 5 gallons of liquid courage in him – came over to my table.  “What’s the answer to this question?”

“Scuse me?”

“What’s the answer?  You know the answer, Poindexter, give me the answer to this question.”

I went back to my dinner and didn’t say a word.

A couple of questions later, the trivia player came back over.  “I got news for you.  We don’t cheat.  And I know it was you who told General James about my buddy using a cell phone in the bathroom.  Just cause we called for an answer in the bathroom doesn’t mean we cheated.”

I thought about my options.  I could confront the guy; I could sit and eat my dinner.  I looked around – there were plenty of Hooters waitresses, but I couldn’t see a Hooters bouncer anywhere.

I thought about it some more.  If this goon did try to throw a punch or assault me, he would get arrested and go to jail – Hooters could be liable under the Dram Shop Act for anything that happened to me because they served alcohol to this guy – and most likely the rest of the trivia teams would surround us in some sort of fight ring, where this guy was Mike Tyson and I was Glass Joe.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” I said to the guy, hoping to diffuse the situation.  “We’re only playing trivia for food and beer.  You still got a chance to win.  Nobody penalized you or docked you points.”

Just then I noticed that there actually WAS a Hooters employee that could diffuse the situation without breaking a nail or rupturing an implant.

The restaurant manager, who was watching from across the bar and quickly assessed the situation.  He stepped in and escorted the inebriated thug back to his seat.  “Sorry about that, Chuck,” he said to me.  “We’ve been having problems with these guys for a while, not just at trivia.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.  “Thanks, man,” I said.  “The last thing I needed to be was a chalk outline on your floor.”

Anyways, back to last night.  Woo Hoo a Go Go took first place and five points; the Skidmarks finished second with 3 points, and the Con-Fear-Acy nabbed the final point for third place.  Congrats and a tippo de hat to them.

And I know for a fact that none of them needed a cell phone to get the final answer correct.

So after four weeks, here are the standings. There’s a new column called “attendance,” in which teams that show up each week receive a black star. Twelve black stars earn you a white star, meaning you have fulfilled attendance requirements (to be in the finals, you must attend 75% of the qualifying weeks). Just trying to make this easy for everybody.

Elbo Room Trivia Standings – Week 4

	Trivia Team	Points	Totals	Attendance
T-1	Woo Hoo a Go Go	5	8	★★★★
T-1	Skidmarks	3	8	★★★★
T-1	Da Bears		8	★★★★
4	Stern Fans		5	★★
5	Con-Fear-Acy	1	4	★★★★
6	Street Academy		2	★★★★
7	Tres Hombres		1	★
T-8	The Super Winners			★★★★
T-8	The Nature of Play			★★
T-8	Big Red Machine			★★
T-8	Touched by an Uncle			★★
T-8	The Wrong Guy			★
T-8	The Elbow			★
T-8	The Know-Nothings			★
T-8	Team Liz			★
T-8	The Irish Rovers			★
T-8	The Soloist			★
T-8	TNT			★

Remember, you have to play at least 75% of the weeks in the tournament to qualify for the final money round.  12 weeks left to go.