NOTE: These are meant to be taken as humor and satire, and are not to be interpreted as any sort of malicious attack on state workers. Besides, if you’ve got better state worker jokes, add them to the comments section.
Q. How many state workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but he’s a specialist from Batavia. It’s a union thing.
Q. Why didn’t the state worker open his window in the morning?
A. There would be nothing for him to do in the afternoon if he did that.
Q. What’s faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap a tall building in a single bound?
A. A state worker with 15 minutes to get to the credit union and deposit his check.
Q. How can you tell two state workers are having an affair in your office after hours?
A. They leave overtime slips.
On a long boring day, a state worker decides to clean out an old filing cabinet. While poking around, he discovers a brass oil lamp inside. It’s a little dusty, so he gets a cloth and starts rubbing it clean. Instantly a puff of smoke comes out of the oil lamp, and a large genie appears. “Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the bottle,” he said, “I will now grant you three wishes.” The state worker thought carefully, and said, “Let me wish for a tropical paradise.” POOF, and the state worker was on an island in the South Pacific, a cold drink in his hand, and two buxom ladies smiling at him from the beach. “Okay genie, I now wish for a million dollars.” POOF, and large bricks of gold appear on the shore. At least a million dollars’ worth. “I wish I never had to work another day in my life!” said the state worker. POOF, his final wish was granted, and he was back in his office.
Q. What do you call a state worker with a ping-pong paddle in his office desk?
A. Administrator.
Three men, including one who works for the state, were fishing on Lake George when they saw what looked like someone actually walking across the water. It was the Lord himself, who walked across the water and stepped into the boat in which they were fishing. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked, “Oh Lord and Savior, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I survived an attack in the Gulf War, praise be Your name, can you help me?” The Lord smiled, touched the man’s body, and the pain was gone. The second man, who wore very thick soda-bottle-bottom glasses, said, “Oh Lord, King of the Universe, can you help me with my vision?” The Lord smiled and touched the man’s eyes, and instantly the man had 20/20 vision. When the Lord turned to the third worker, an employee from the State, the state worker said defensively,”Don’t touch me! I’m on long-term disability!”
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Okay, now let’s hear your best state worker jokes.
Chuck The Writer 
The correct term is state employee, not worker.
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The best one I came up with (that got me a LOT of hate on Twitter, btw) was:
Q: How is Ward Stone different from any other state worker?
A: He waited until AFTER 5pm to fall asleep in his office.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a state worker with a donkey?
A: A Lazy Ass
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I would comment on this, but that would be out of title work, and someone would report me to the union.
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