Your betting sheet for the 2011 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Laugh if you want, but five of these fifteen performing acts will be in the Class of 2011 in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Your potential inductees are, in alphabetical order:

• The Beastie Boys
• Bon Jovi
• Chic
• Alice Cooper
• Neil Diamond
• Dr. John
• Donovan
• J. Geils Band
• LL Cool J
• Darlene Love
• Laura Nyro
• Donna Summer
• Joe Tex
• Tom Waits
• Chuck Willis

Right off the bat, I’m cheezed off.  Once again, the Rock Hall has seen it fit to ignore such fantastic and legendary acts as the Moody Blues, the Guess Who, Styx, Boston, Joy Division, Slade, The Specials, Depeche Mode, New Order, The Skatalites – producers like Joe Meek, Brian Eno, Sly Dunbar & Robbie Shakespeare – and influences like Robert Moog and Cousin Brucie and Wolfman Jack and Dr. Demento are left off the list once again.  Geez.

So let me do a little handicapping.  Figure that five out of these fifteen will be in the Class of 2011.  So how would I handicap this race?

THE BEASTIE BOYS – Classic rap trio that opened rap up to whole new audiences.  Took the genre in previously unexplored directions.

PRO – Evolved their craft from “You Gotta Fight For Your Right to Party” to more intricate and detailed rap tracks like “Intergalactic” and “Hey Ladies” and “Check It Out.”

CON – It’s them against LL Cool J.  Five slots available for induction.  You think the Rock Hall will put them both in?  Maybe if the voters don’t recall they did a song called “Cookiepuss…”

CHANCES – Decent.  Maybe not first ballot, but they’ll get in someday.

BON JOVI – The best-selling New Jersey musical act not named Sinatra or Springsteen.

PRO – They’re freakin’ Bon Jovi, man!  “You Give Love a Bad Name!” “Living on a Prayer!” “Runaway!” “It’s My Life!”

CON – Please don’t let Jon Bon Jovi show up at the inductions wearing a Philadelphia Soul Arena Football jersey… please…

CHANCES – They’re in.  Without question.

CHIC – The quintet that brought a liquid bass line to two of the best songs of the late 70’s, “Le Freak” and “Good Times.”  Nile Rogers and Bernard Edwards later produced several monster hits for other artists, and were part of the group Power Station.

PRO – “Good Times” has been sampled by a thousand rap artists, and “Le Freak” is still a radio staple.

CON – They’re a two-hit wonder.  Three if you even remember “Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah).”  Chic and Donna Summer are the two disco acts among the 15 balloteers.

CHANCES – Not this year.

ALICE COOPER – The master of 70’s shock rock.  “Welcome To My Nightmare.”  “School’s Out.” “Eighteen.”  He’s a legend.

PRO – Not only did this guy put out some classic rock tunes, he also had one of the most poignant anti-spousal-abuse songs out there in “Only Women.”

CON – As long as they don’t count his other treacly ballads like “You and Me” and “See Me Now” and “I Never Cry,” he’s a lock.

CHANCES – Very strong.

NEIL DIAMOND – Singer-songwriter from the 1960’s to today.

PRO – His songs have been performed by everyone from the Monkees to UB40.

CON – How in God’s name can you put Neil Diamond in any Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when his catalog includes “Forever in Blue Jeans,” “Love on the Rocks,” “September Morn” and “Song Sung Blue”?

CHANCES – Please God, no.

DR. JOHN – A legendary singer-songwriter.  Mixed zydeco with rock music and created some fantastic albums.

PRO – “In the Right Place” defines New Orleans funk music.

CON – How many of you out there actually OWN a Dr. John album?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?

CHANCES – Not this year.

DONOVAN – A massive catalog of psychedelic pop hits.  He’s part of the 1960’s British Invasion.

PRO – Most of his songs, including “Mellow Yellow,” “Sunshine Superman,” and “Catch the Wind,” are still getting monster airplay on oldies stations.

CON – He should have gotten into the Rock Hall a few years ago.

CHANCES – First ballot.

J. GEILS BAND – One of New England’s greatest rock band of the 70’s and 80’s.  Their live shows are still talked about today.

PRO – Their hits included “Centerfold,” “Must of Got Lost,” “Freeze Frame” and “Angel in Blue.”

CON – Okay, if you took the “Freeze Frame” album away, could you have named another J. Geils Band song without running to iTunes?

CHANCES – Would like to see it, but it’s a longshot at best.

LL COOL J – Rapper extraordinaire.  A whole collection of smooth hits and solid raps.

PRO – Grandmaster Flash and Run-D.M.C. opened the doors for rappers in the Rock Hall.  Here’s a chance for a solo rapper to get in.

CON – It’s him or the Beastie Boys.  You think the Hall’s going to put two rap inductees in with only five available entries?

CHANCES – Good.

DARLENE LOVE – One of the essential voices on the Phil Spector collection of hits.

PRO – The Ronettes were the first of the “Phil Spector” groups to get in the Rock Hall, so next up should be Darlene Love – and then next year, how about the Crystals?

CON – Several of her songs are credited to the Crystals, even though she wasn’t a member of the group. Nice to see Phil Spector playing fast and loose with lineups.

CHANCES – Should have gotten in last year.

LAURA NYRO – prolific songwriter, provided hits for the 5th Dimension, Three Dog Night and Peter Paul & Mary.

PRO – Brill Building songwriters are sorely underrepresented at the Rock Hall.

CON – Known more as a songwriter than as a singer, that may dissuade some voters.  She’s on a ballot with Neil Diamond and Tom Waits, that might split the vote.

CHANCES – Might take a ballot or two.

DONNA SUMMER – Queen of disco music.  Consistent chart hits from 1976 to 1991.

PRO – Transcended the vapid disco orchestrations.  Fantastic voice.  Girl once held a note for 16 solid seconds on the song “Dim All The Lights.”  You try doing that.

CON – Once you start inducting disco acts, who’s next?  KC and the Sunshine Band?  Santa Esmerelda?  Boney M?

CHANCES – Not this year.

JOE TEX – Fantastic soul/R&B singer and performer.

PRO – Major R&B hits with “I Gotcha” and “I Ain’t Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat  Woman).”

CON – I can’t think of any.

CHANCES – Good.  He deserves to be in.

TOM WAITS – Singer, songwriter, actor.  His albums are full of legendary imagery.  His songs have been covered by the Eagles, Rod Stewart and Manhattan Transfer.

PRO – Get you a copy of “Heart Attack and Vine” or “Swordfishtrombones” and your mind will be expanded.

CON – His voice rivals Bob Dylan’s as an acquired taste.

CHANCES – Doubtful.

CHUCK WILLIS – 50’s R&B singer, the King of “The Stroll,” had hits like “C.C. Rider,” “What am I Living For,” and “Hang Up My Rock and Roll Shoes.”

PRO – A legend of R&B music of the 1950’s.

CON – Modern generations don’t even know his name.  His songs aren’t played on the radio, and if you do hear “C.C. Rider,” it’s usually the Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels version.

CHANCES – Wish he could get in, but it won’t be this year.

So with that in mind, my vote would include Bon Jovi, Alice Cooper, Donovan, Darlene Love and a coinflip between LL Cool J and the Beastie Boys – LL Cool J won the coin flip.  I’d also put in a few votes for Dr. John, Joe Tex and Chuck Willis, but they’re longshots at best.  As for  Neil Diamond – come on, man…

Now let me ask you – who would you vote for from the fifteen names listed above, who do you think should never get a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ticket, let alone an induction – and are there artists / groups / performers that have still received short shrift?