When it comes to languages, I speak three languages very fluently. I speak American English, I speak Canadian English and I can speak Australian English. That’s it, mate. Good on ya, eh?
Now there are online services out there that can translate websites from one language to another, and can translate your English websites into other vernaculars and vulgates.
So just for a laugh, I decided I would test one of them out – Google Translate – and see if it could take my English words and convert them into another language.
Here’s the text that I used, it’s from my blog post “In Defense of Class Rings.”
As far as anyone was concerned, I “attended” Albany High for about half a day, but was expelled after getting in a fight with a teacher. Sent to Street Academy. It was a great cover story, and actually that story saved my rear a couple of times. “Don’t mess with Chuck Miller,” I heard one kid say to another. “He actually put a teacher in the hospital. That’s hard core.”
So let’s see what it looks like in French, translated by Google.
Autant que l’on était, je «assisté» Albany High pendant environ une demi-journée, mais a été expulsé après avoir reçu dans un combat avec un professeur. Envoyé à l’Académie de la rue. Il était une histoire de couverture grande, et effectivement cette histoire m’a sauvé arrière à quelques reprises. «Ne jouez pas avec Chuck Miller,” J’ai entendu un enfant dire à un autre. “Il fait mettre un enseignant à l’hôpital. C’est noyau dur. “
And into Spanish.
Por lo que a nadie le preocupaba, que “asistieron” Albany más alto en cerca de medio día, pero fue expulsado después de recibir en una pelea con un profesor. Enviado a la Academia de la calle. Fue un gran tema de portada, y en realidad esa historia me salvó la parte trasera de un par de veces. “No te metas con Chuck Miller,” oí decir a un niño a otro. “Él realmente poner un maestro en el hospital. Ese es el núcleo duro “.
And into German.
Soweit man besorgt war, habe ich “besucht” Albany “Hoch” für etwa einen halben Tag, war aber nach dem Aufstehen in einem Kampf mit einem Lehrer vertrieben. Sent to Street Academy. Es war eine große Titelgeschichte, und tatsächlich, die Geschichte rettete mir das Heck ein paar mal. “Don’t mess with Chuck Miller”, hörte ich ein Kind sagen zu einem anderen. “Er legte tatsächlich ein Lehrer im Krankenhaus. Das ist harte Kern. “
How about Japanese?
限り誰もが心配していたとして、私は、約半日アルバニーハイ”に参加”教師との戦いで入手した後、追放された。ストリートアカデミーに送信されます。それは、偉大なカバーストーリーだった実際には、その話は私の後ろを数回保存されます。 “チャックミラーを台無しにしないで、”私は1つの子供が別の言うのを聞いた。 “彼は、実際に病院の先生を置く。それはハードコアです。”
Or maybe Vietnamese?
Theo như mọi người đã quan tâm, tôi “tham dự” Albany cao khoảng nửa ngày, nhưng đã bị trục xuất sau khi nhận được trong một cuộc chiến với một giáo viên. Gửi đến Viện Hàn lâm Street. Đó là một câu chuyện bao gồm rất lớn, và thực sự là câu chuyện được lưu phía sau tôi một vài lần. “Đừng gây rối với Chuck Miller,”Tôi nghe nói có một đứa trẻ khác. “Anh ấy thực sự đặt một giáo viên trong bệnh viện. Đó là khó khăn chính. “
And here it is in Irish…
Chomh fada is a bhain le duine ar bith, mé “fhreastail” Ard Albany ar feadh thart ar leath lá, ach bhí a dhíbirt tar éis dul i troid le múinteoir. Curtha chuig Shráid an Acadaimh. Bhí sé ina scéal a chlúdach mór, agus ar ndóigh, an scéal a shábháil ar mo chúl cúpla uair. “Ná praiseach le Chuck Miller,” Chuala mé a rá kid amháin go ceann eile. “Chuir sé féin ina mhúinteoir san ospidéal. Sin croí crua. “
And in Chinese…
至于有人担心，我“参加“了解奥尔巴尼半天高，但后在与老师的斗争越来越驱逐出境。发送到街学院。这是一个伟大的封面故事，这个故事其实是救了我的后面几次。 “不要与Chuck米勒一团糟，“我听到一个孩子说，到另一个地方。 “他居然把在医院一名教师。这是硬的核心。“
And finally, in Russian…
Насколько кто-нибудь, то я “с участием” Олбани высокого около половины дня, но был исключен после получения в борьбе с учителем. Отправлено стрит академии. Это была большая история крышку, а на самом деле эта история спас мою заднюю пару раз. “Не связывайтесь с Чак Миллер: “Я слышал, как один парень говорил другой. “Он фактически положил учителя в больницу. Это твердое ядро “.
But you know what? If I’m being totally honest… I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA IF ANY OF THESE TRANSLATIONS ARE ACCURATE!! For all I know, every one of these translations probably spells out the equivalent of “You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.”
So if anybody out there speaks any of the languages I used with Google Translate… how close did Google Translate get in conveying the original meaning of the previous paragraph? Was it close? Was it completely out of the ballpark?
Chuck The Writer 
If you want some real fun, translate it BACK to English. Here’s the Irish, for example:
Chuck, we had no idea you were a teacher in the hospital. That’s hard core.
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The French one isn’t that far off (although “attended” in this sense did not mean “assisted”)… and here it is back:
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Yeah, Google Translate is a lot more fun when you translate back into English. Even better, here’s your passage in Swedish Chef:
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How about some translation mutations, where you translate from (say) English to French and then back and forth, to see how distorted the message gets.
At Brown’s Brewery the night of 24 January 2011, Street Academy was defeated at trivia by its rival team, Blue Mooned, that re-badged themselves as “Street Drug Academy” in light of the situation.
A la brasserie Brown la nuit du 24 Janvier 2011, rue Académie a été défait à info par son équipe rivale, Blue Mooned, qui se re-badgée comme “Street Academy drogues” à la lumière de la situation.
At the brewery Brown the night of January 24, 2011, Street Academy was defeated by his rival team info, Blue MoonEdit, who re-badged as “Street Academy drugs” in light of the situation.
A la brasserie Brown la nuit du 24 Janvier 2011, rue Académie a été vaincu par son équipe rivale d’infos, Blue MoonEdit, qui re-badgée «drogues Academy Street” à la lumière de la situation.
At the brewery Brown the night of January 24, 2011, Street Academy was defeated by his rival team info, Blue MoonEdit, who re-badged “drugs Academy Street” in light of the situation.
Bottom line – computerized translators are far from a perfected science.
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Here’s what it translates back from Japanese into English:
As long as everyone was concerned, I have about half Arubanihai “participate in” after getting in a fight with teachers, were expelled. Sent to the Academy Street. It was really a great cover story, the story is saved several times behind me. “Do not mess with Chuck Miller,” I heard one kid say to another. “He really put the hospital teacher. It is hard core.”
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