“Sorry sir, we can’t accept your cash to park at the Hedley Park Place Parking Lot.”

Last week I arranged a dinner meet-up with Michele Poole, so that I could give her a CD with the photographs I took of her as she completed her 20th consecutive run at the Freihofer’s Run for Women.  We agreed to meet at my favorite Troy restaurant, Brown’s Brewing, on Wednesday night.

That evening, as I drove over to Troy, I noticed that parking in the River Street area was almost non-existent.  “Rockin’ on the River” events tend to soak up all the available street parking spots.  No matter, I thought.  I’ll just park in the lot next to the Hedley Park Place building.  No big deal.

As I pulled in, however, a man walked up to me.  “That’ll be $5 to park here,” he said to me.

Great.  Another cash grab, I mused.  What was once free parking is now a money machine for someone else.  Grr.  I dug in my wallet and pulled out a $5 bill.

“No, sir, we can’t accept that.”

Huh?

“It’s credit or debit card only,” he said, showing me his portable credit card reader/printout machine.

“You’re kidding, right?” I replied.  “You’re not taking cash?”

“No sir,” the man replied.  “They don’t want us out here with a bunch of $5 bills all night.”

Okay, now hold on a second.  The parking attendants can’t take a $5 bill – a piece of legal tender that clearly states on its obverse that “THIS NOTE IS LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS, PUBLIC AND PRIVATE” – a clear Federal Reserve Note with a big fat picture of Abraham Lincoln on the front and a shot of the Lincoln Memorial on the back?  What, are they afraid the $5 is going to bounce?

And instead, they want me to hand over my credit card so that it can be swiped in a portable card reader?  Correct me if I’m wrong here, but at what point did I miss the Federal edict that cash was no longer considered acceptable currency for transactions?

Not only was the guy motioning at me to give up my credit card, but the car behind me – some piece of junk Toyota Corolla with more rust than rust color – was laying on the horn, telling me to move it.  And I was about 5 minutes away from my meeting with Michele.

I had no choice.  I glumly handed over my credit card.  The attendant swiped it and handed me a dashboard receipt.  I parked over by the water, and made my way to Brown’s.

At the same time, Michele was trying to find a parking spot of her own – rather than deal with the credit card collectors, she eventually found a free spot two blocks away.  Needless to say, although we did enjoy our meal and she LOVED the pictures from the Freihofer’s Run, we were both still plenty miffed about the payment method extracted by the Hedley Park Place parking lot attendees.

Let’s get a few things straight.  I don’t have a problem with paying for parking, if it’s necessary or required to do so.   I get that.  It’s the Hedley Park Place’s parking lot, they own the land and they can do with it as they see fit.  It’s not like Brown’s or Ryan’s Wake or any of the other River Street nightspots are getting a cut from the parking lot profits – they aren’t.  It’s not like my paying $5 to park is being funneled back to them, because it’s not.

What I DO have a problem with – when one thinks about it long enough – is that the Hedley Park Place parking lot attendees will only take a credit or debit card, and not cash.  It’s not like I’m driving up there to hand them ten rolls of pennies for a $5 fee.  It’s not like I’m handing them a $100 bill and demanding change.  The parking fee was $5, I handed them a $5 bill.  Every other parking authority in the Capital District will take cash; some also take checks or credit cards, that’s their choice as well.

See, there’s this thing called the Coinage Act of 1965 – otherwise known as 31 U.S.C. § 5103 – which states that “United States coins and currency (including Federal reserve notes and circulating notes of Federal reserve banks and national banks) are legal tender for all debts, public charges, taxes, and dues. Foreign gold or silver coins are not legal tender for debts.”

And it’s not like I’m paying with Linden dollars or Bitcoins, or with Monopoly money or with chicken feet.

But at the same time, I don’t want some joker with a credit card machine sitting there, waiting for me to cough up my credit card info – so that some other joker can rob the attendant of his credit card machine and get my card info (as well as the card info of every person who parked in the Hedley Park Place parking lot).

So I’m resigned to a compromise.  I will use a credit card to park in the Hedley Park Place parking lot.

A prepaid credit card – with about $20 on it (good for three days of parking, once you factor in the prepaid credit card transaction fees).  This way, if these turnip-brains at the Hedley Park Place parking lot need a credit card so badly, they can use the one I provide them that doesn’t possess my contact information or any personal banking records.

In other words – you want to be a jerk about this… then I can be a jerk about it, too.  Fair is fair.