“And coming around the clubhouse turn, it’s ‘Christ Almighty!'”

About four months ago, I played a game of Friday night trivia at Jessica Stones in Latham.  I wasn’t initially planning on going out that night, but when trivia host Ben Hovey posted a message on Facebook talking about the opportunity to play against a Trivia Bowl champion, a Summer Bowl champion and a perfect game champion (answering all 20 questions without a miss), I realized he was talking about three different teams – and was also talking about my Street Academy team, which had won all three of those accolades.  Sorta calling me out.  20 questions later, I had a gift certificate for $25 worth of eats at Jessica Stones.

Yesterday, I wanted to watch some football – and since neither the Packers-Chiefs nor the Patriots-Broncos games would air on local television, I decided to watch the football games at Jessica Stones.  After munching on their chicken wings and some other delicacies, I paid for my food – the $25 gift card was still valid – and walked around the building to the other entity operating in that building.

An Off-Track Betting parlor.

There’s a lot of gambling in my family – as a kid, I recall watching Wednesday night harness track simulcasts on WRGB, and I have bet on the ponies from time to time during the Saratoga racing season.  I’ve even placed a bet or three at the harness track – mostly when I start losing money at the racino slots and figure I can lose money in another endeavor.  And yes, for a couple of years I played horses and trivia at the same time at the Saratoga Race Course – with varying levels of success on both fronts.

I can say that at one time I did own a horse – well, not a real flesh and blood horse, but a computer simulated stallion named “Christ Almighty.”  See, back in the day the Old Chicago restaurant on Wolf Road had a game room, and one of the games they had was called “Derby Owners Club.”  With that game, you could create your own horse, train him and race him.  And of all the horses in my stable, “Christ Almighty” was the winner every time.  That’s right, imagine Tom Durkin calling that race.  “And coming around the clubhouse turn, it’s Christ Almighty by two lengths! Christ Almighty is going to win the race! Holy Cow, it’s Christ Almighty!”

Well, what did you think I would name the horse?  Tim Tebow?

But back to yesterday.

I looked around the OTB parlor.  It had about as much excitement and enthusiasm in there as the line at the Department of Motor Vehicles.  Bettors were staring intently at several different screens, watching simulcasts from around the country.  One guy was sitting at a table, going over tip sheets and betting forms as if he was contemplating a major stock transaction.

I asked him which horse he thought would win the next race.

“Well, the temperature at the track is cold, so that should slow the horses down by about a second and a half.  This horse has won his last three races, running faster each time, but they changed the jockey on him, so I don’t think he’s going to win…”

I’d type the rest of his response, but it’s like the time I asked a fellow blogger what they thought of my blog and I got a dissertation about how it was too long and contained topics that nobody cared about and that if I let them monitor my blog for a week they could offer me “tips” on improving it, etc., etc., etc…

So with that in mind, I decided to go with my own betting system.  And it’s worked for me in the past.

• I bet a win-place-show bet on horse number 5.  Always bet on number 5 to start the day.
• In the same race, I will bet a win-place-show on a horse that has a name that means something to me.  In that race, I bet on horse number ten – the name matched up with one of my personal interests.
• I also bet a few dollars to win on the longshot.  You never know.  It could win.  That’s why it’s called a longshot.

The race went off.  The longshot led for the first half of the race, but then horse #10 came up on the outside… and eventually passed everyone and won by two lengths.  And your man won $25 and change.

I cashed in my ticket and left the OTB parlor.  No sense pushing my luck.  It wasn’t a big win, and I wasn’t going to reinvest $25 as “house money” and keep playing.  Always gamble within your means and within your budget; don’t gamble what you can’t spare to lose.

Besides if I want to lose my “house money,” I’ll go to Turning Stone Casino.  At least there, if I lose it, it’s considered a charitable donation to the Oneida Indian Nation.  Isn’t it? 🙂