Happy Christmas from Verizon – we’re charging you an extra $2 to pay your phone bill, can you hear us now?

Ah, Verizon Wireless.  Why do you hate me so?

Why, when I go to a Verizon Wireless store, your sour-faced door-greeters invariably try to steer me either toward the most expensive smartphones on display, or to an electronic kiosk where I am required to type in my name and cell phone number before I can receive any customer service?

I deal with it.  I have to.  But I also take into account the fact that I can pay my cell phone bill at the store, or I can pay it online, and there’s very little trouble in doing that.

At least until January 15th.

According to the engadget blog, beginning January 15th, Verizon will assess a $2 convenience fee to those who pay their cell phone bill by credit or debit card.  That’s right… you pay your bill with a credit card or if you pay your bill online, you need to pay an extra $2 to Verizon.

How do you avoid this new fee?

Well, if you enroll in Verizon’s AutoPay program, you won’t get charged the $2.  And if you pay your bill with an electronic check (ACH), the fee is waived.

If you mail in your payment with a check or money order – you know, the old way you used to pay your bill – there is no $2 fee.  But a money order can cost $1.10 at the post office, plus 44 cents for a postage stamp, so you’re still spending $1.54 to pay your bill that way.

So if you bring money into the Verizon Wireless store and pay at one of their electronic kiosks, do you also get whacked with a $2 fee?  No.  You can pay at the electronic kiosks with cash, credit cards, checks or bingo chips – well, maybe not bingo chips – without a surcharge.  Although, if you do pay with cash at the electronic kiosk, the kiosk actually rounds up your bill to the nearest dollar, since it won’t take coins.

But for me, the irritation is that we have to pay a fee for using something that the phone company wants us to use for convenience’s sake in the first place.  I suspect it has something to do with Verizon being charged a fee from the banks for accepting credit card payments, and what better way for Verizon to deal with it than to pass that charge on to their customers?

Absolutely shameful and pitiful.  And what happens when we get nickel-and-dimed by Verizon, what’s going to stop T-Mobile and AT&T and Sprint from doing the same thing in the next few months?

Granted, I already pay a surcharge of 75 cents every time I pay my National Grid gas bill at my local Price Chopper.  It happens, I deal with it. That’s a convenience that Price Chopper offers, it’s not like I’m going to a National Grid store and paying my bill there.

And of course, since Verizon now charges me $2 to pay my bill – because they’re getting charged themselves – now I have to find someone to pass the $2 fee to.

Hey, I got an idea.  Maybe I can send a bill to Verizon for $2 for my “convenience fee.”  And if they pay by credit card, I can charge them an extra $2 for the privilege.  How cool would that be?

Hey Verizon… can you hear me now?  Can you?  Or are you even listening?

Probably not.

UPDATE: Verizon has announced they will withdraw their $2 surcharge, as of today, December 30.