The cashier at the Dunkin’ Donuts looked at me as if to say, “Who are you and what have you done with the Chuck Miller that usually comes in here and only orders the wake-up breakfast wrap and a diet cola?”
But there was a reason for doing this. Sometimes it’s all you can do.
Last Tuesday, I got the news that something terrible happened to my friends George and Loretta Hackney’s family.
You might remember George and Loretta. They’re trivia players, and they got married last year. I even did a “Nuptials” blog post about it. Yeah, I did a “Nuptials” blog post. I’m man enough to admit it…
Anyway, the bad news George and Loretta received was absolutely devastating. This isn’t something that can be solved with a quick-witted comment or some elbow grease and hard work. What happened to them is life-changing and heartbreaking. I know they’ll pull through, and they have many friends – including me – who will offer their support whenever possible.
They had just returned home from a vacation last night. Loretta’s sisters were on their way from other parts of the country. It was an emergency family reunion.
When I got the news from one of their friends about what had happened, my heart broke for them. But I also knew that at the time, they were going through about 20 different things – making sure that Loretta’s sisters arrived at Albany International without any trouble, making preparations for future events, etc.
So that morning, I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts and ordered a box of twelve fancy donuts, along with a jug of black coffee and the necessary cups and creamers and stirrers. And then I drove to their house and dropped the tasty treasures off for them.
Sometimes there aren’t words that you can say in a situation like this. But even when you can’t find the right words to say, there’s always a gesture of “if you need anything from me, I’ll be there for you in your time of need.”
In the end, that’s more important than trying to come up with the right words or the right phrases. Just know that in this world, you’re not alone, and that you have your friends to lean on.
Because I know that George and Loretta would have done the same thing for any of their friends who were in the same situation.
Chuck The Writer 
You’re a stand up guy Chuck – and all your friends know it. Prayers to Loretta and George and their family!
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You are obviously a caring and thoughtful person, and I’m sure your friends will appreicate that.
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Those simple acts of kindness say it all. It isn’t enough to ask “is there anything I can do?” because usually a family is so stunned by their tragedy that their minds can’t concentrate on anything. It honestly doesn’t occur to them that they will have a house load of people that will need breakfast when their minds are reeling from bad news. You are a good friend, Chuck.
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When I had a death in the immediate family years ago, my best friends gathered together and baked my favorite desserts one afternoon, dropping them off to me later that evening. They were kind enough to understand (even at the young ages of 16 and 17) that I probably needed time to be with my family, and that my house was totally overcrowded with lunchmeats and loaves of bread, the things that people pack in to help feed relatives when something so awful happens so suddenly. And so, a simple drop-off of my favorite brownies, chocolate chip cookies, and cheesecake, along with a few hellos and hugs, did the trick. They knew exactly what to do to make me feel better. I took the desserts to my bedroom and holed up – no sharing. 😉
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Just a simple act to show that you care can mean the world to someone going through a horrible time. And food, especially carbs, is always a plus.
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