Paying the NiMo Bill

I’m still not used to it, and although it’s not a big deal to a lot of people, it’s still kind of a big deal to me.

I live in the blessed Town and Village of Green Island.  I say “blessed” because the electricity is provided by the Green Island Power Authority, an autonomous power company that takes the six megawatts of energy from the old Ford Motor Company’s Hudson River generators and provides it – at rock-bottom prices – to the Town and Village.  My electricity bill averages about $25/month.  Yeah, you’re jealous.  You should be.

The heat for my place is still provided by National Grid, but that only eats into my wallet in wintertime, and usually not by much.  It’s not a big deal for me to stop at my local Price Chopper and pay my bill on the way to the day job.  Easy Peasey.

So yesterday, as I left my residence, I said to myself, “Okay, Chuck, gotta remember to pay the cell phone, gotta remember to pay the cable bill, gotta remember to pay NiMo – ”

NiMo.

And in the background, I heard an imitation of Beavis and Butt-Head going, “Heh-uh-huh, huh-uh-huh, he said NiMo.”

Did I just say NiMo? Was it a reflex? Was it a gaffe?  Was it the fact that even though the Niagara Mohawk Power Corporation was acquired by National Grid PLC ten years ago, I’m still referring to it as my NiMo bill?

Wow.

We grow up learning that an object has a distinct name.  Then, whether it’s through a merger or a corporate acquisition or a “naming rights” contract, we have to call it something else.  We’re “forced” to call it something else.  Do you know how long it took me to mentally rebrand the Knickerbocker Arena as the Pepsi Arena before our local newspaper garnered its own naming rights term for it?  At this point, I just call it “The Arena” and everyone knows what I’m talking about.

And if you thought our local entertainment facility rebranding was a pain in the neck, you should see what they’ve gone through in Philadelphia.  For 40 years, they had a sports facility called the Spectrum.  It always WAS the Spectrum.  Then they built a new sports facility next door – which at various times and through various bank mergers, was known as the CoreStates Center, the First Union Center, the Wahcovia Center, and now it’s the Wells Fargo Center.  And in Miami?  Joe Robbie Stadium’s been renamed so many times, I expect to drive by it one day and see a gigantic blackboard next to it, to make renaming the building quicker and easier.

And that rebranding also affects sports teams and leagues as well.  We can’t call them the Florida Marlins any more, they’re now the Miami Marlins.  Devils might work for hockey teams in New Jersey, but they don’t work for baseball teams in Tampa Bay any more.  It’s the Sprint Cup, not the Winston Cup.  It’s WWE, not WWF.  It’s the Football Bowl Subdivision, not NCAA Division I.

Wasn’t it back in the early 1970’s, when we shopped at Central Markets and we bought our gasoline at an Esso or an Atlantic station?  And then, just like the snap of a finger, we were now shopping at a Price Chopper, and our fuel options now included Exxon and ARCO?  Or when we paid our telephone bill, when we paid “Ma Bell,” and suddenly we were paying our NYNEX bill – which became our Bell Atlantic bill – and now it’s our Verizon bill – which is not to be confused with our Verizon Wireless bill, ha ha…

Even our local restaurants and eateries get the rebranding treatment.  I recall once receiving an invitation to a get-together at the Dale Miller restaurant in downtown Albany.  A few days before the event, I was told that the event would be held at Taste.  It took a few Abbott and Costello conversations to figure out that Taste was Dale Miller’s restaurant sans Dale Miller.

It’s a similar situation to saying to someone, “Hey, let’s go to Wolf’s 1-11.  No, not the one that used to be Old Chicago, let’s meet up at the one that used to be Broadway Joe’s.  Yeah, that one – the place that used to be Panfilo’s.”

But getting back to paying my NiMo bill.  Geez, I said it again.  I think what’s happened is we’ve gotten so engrained in our thinking, it’s like someone from New York City saying, “I gotta pay my Con Ed bill,” or someone from Los Angeles referring to their electric bill as their ‘PG&E.”  We never thought of our electricity as coming from any other source than the hybrid of two Empire State regional sobriquets.  For us, “NiMo” equals “electric bill” the way “Stewarts” equals “convenience store.”

And I’m sure you’ve done the same thing as well – calling something by its original name, as opposed to its new name or rebranded name or whatever.

As for me… I gotta get to the day job.  But first, I gotta swing by Price Chopper and pay my NiMo bill…

What, you think National Grid is gonna tack on a service charge because I said “NiMo?”

Oh wait… it IS National Grid.  They just might do that. 😉