I heard this anecdote yesterday on the radio while I was driving through the North Country – Freddie Coleman on ESPN Radio was recounting the story, and as I heard it, I went through a ton of emotions – and you will as well. I wanted to make sure the story was legit – and, sure enough, a couple of Google searches later, I found a copy of the story here on the match.com website.
“My girlfriend and I had been together for about three years, and I was sure she was the one I wanted to marry. Problem was, I didn’t exactly have enough money to get her a good engagement ring. So, in order to raise funds, I put my collection of baseball trading cards on eBay. We’re talking a collection that spanned, like, 20 years, thanks to some cards handed down by my dad. I was totally bummed to part with them because they were so important to me, but I really, really loved this girl. I ended up making more than enough money to pay for a ring. Problem was, when I got down on one knee, she told me that she couldn’t see spending the rest of her life with me. I should’ve stuck with Shoeless Joe Jackson.”
— Owen, 26, Chagrin Falls, OH
Owtch.
Now I don’t know if Owen exists or not, and I don’t know if this was written as some sort of big eff ewe to whoever he was dating (and it sounds like “WAS” dating), but if it’s true… man, that woman is colder than Antarctica.
Now personally, I’ve done a lot of things for love. Or at least what I thought I felt was love. Dressed up in a gorilla costume to propose? Done that. Ate a bunch of crappy French fries? Done that. Hand-detailed a car after she got sick behind the wheel and blew chunks all over the dashboard? Yep. Done that.
Trust me. We fall in love and we think that person is going to be our “last first kiss.” We dream of a beautiful life with a beachfront house and a Maltese and 2.5 kids. Well, maybe not the Maltese.
But in the end, we find that our fantasies – our dreams – end up dashed on the rocks of reality.
My personal opinion – Owen’s never going to get the cards back. The only thing he could really do at this point is to sell the ring on eBay and take the cash and go do something fun.
You know… vacation for one.
And who knows? Maybe on that vacation he’ll find that special someone who, besides being sensitive and caring and gorgeous and understanding… probably has some unopened boxes of complete Upper Deck and Fleer and Topps card sets – and maybe even a PSA/DNA graded 9.0 or better of Shoeless Joe Jackson’s 1915 Cracker Jack card.
Chuck The Writer 
That is a sad soppy story, but … didn’t he have some idea that she might say no?
Even if he didn’t, should she really marry him just because he sold all his baseball cards to buy her a ring?
LikeLike
The fact that he would even do such a thing tells me why she wouldn’t marry him. He’s too desperate and insecure. Being nice is one thing, being a martyr is another. No one likes a martyr, no matter what the context of the relationship is…work, family members, etc.
LikeLike
A –
To me, this almost reads like a twisted version of The Gift of the Magi – if the punchline were that she cut off and sold her fingers to surprise him with a Honus Wagner T-206 card.
LikeLike
Surely before I sold something near and dear to me, and worth alot of money no less, I would make sure the intended feels the same way. As they say, there’s one born every minute …… 😦
LikeLike
I’d rather read this story than a sadder story of an empty relationship and divorce in 3 years. She did the right thing, it stinks for his baseball cards, but he can always start a new collection.
LikeLike
That story was about a committed married couple. Not a chick using a dude for rent money.
LikeLike
If they were together for 3 years, and she “couldn’t see spending the rest of her life with” him, she was just stringing him along. As unhappy as he is by the loss of his baseball cards, he’s better off without her. What a witch!
Gals find princes who turn back into frogs, too. I was engaged to a guy who broke our engagement (thankfully before too much was paid for toward the wedding that couldn’t be refunded). He said it was because he decided he “just wanted to live together after all.” This, when we weren’t living together (and I didn’t want to) in the first place . . .
LikeLike
Marriage is all a scam set up to fulfill a capitalism-created fantasy that never existed, except on the pages of a Sears-Roebuck catelog.
And with slightly more than 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, marriage is dying relic.
LikeLike
Aren’t you supposed to wait until you KNOW she’ll say yes before proposing?
LikeLike
I have sold my entire collection a couple times over the last 30+ yrs. But its always been to feed my family when times got tough. I’ve kept the 2 items that mean evrything in the world to me outside that I can and have replaced a lot of it. And if the need arises I will sell it al again. I learned along tme ago they’re just things and no not all things can be replaced but they are still just things can’t take them with me when I go. Family comes first. Doubt this story to be totally true, but if it is seems he was a very bright guy.
LikeLike
Jango, Nice try. But that’s a load of crap.
Tell that to my grandparents. Who were married 56 years when my Grandfather died.
Tell that to my parents. Who were married 28 years when my Dad died.
Tell that to my brother. He and his wife celebrated their 36th anniversary last fall.
Tell that to my husband and I. We will celebrate our 32nd anniversary this Thursday. Use the link and visit my blog on Thursday when I talk about it.
Tell that to my best friend. She and her husband will celebrate their 31st anniversary Friday.
Tell that to my sister. She and her husband celebrated their 20th anniversary last month.
Tell that to our daughter and son-in-law. They just celebrated their 5th anniversary, and are having our 3rd grandchild today.
Marriage works, IF your work at it. We ALL work, or have worked at our marriages.
The problem today is NOT marriage. It’s that many people see problems and bail, INSTEAD of sticking around and working them out.
LikeLike
Well, Chuck, you really touched a nerve with that post. I always said that men are far more romantic than women, but I do hope “terry” meant to say a NOT very bright guy in the last sentence. Also, if a true story, we only know the guy’s interpretation of what she said to him and don’t know, after a three year relationship, what their general understanding might have been. Maybe they had basically agreed NOT to marry. Or maybe when push came to shove, she took the moment to make a merciful break. I think two years should be the limit for that kind of miscommunication. Today’s folks might say two weeks!
LikeLike
so sad…. that he had to part with his baseball collection. he can always find another girl. but that collection; partially handed down from his father… thats just sad.
LikeLike
i saw this recently in the bruce willis/morgan tracy copy comedy – only bruce willis sells his cards to pay for his daughter’s wedding (which he can only hope will last). Guys – I’m a chick and even I would council NOT to sell my prized collection for a chick. you shoulda known she wasn’t “the one” when you felt like you had to sell off your possessions to get a competition ring. if it was real love she’d say yes without a ring
LikeLike
He should have worked harder at remembering her name then he would have had a better chance.It happens,nothing forcing her to marry him. I agree he should have been more sure somehow before popping the question.
LikeLike
did they not talk about getting married at all? I mean, that conversation kinda has to come up after the one or two year mark, unless one is living in denial…
LikeLike
I believe 54% of all marriages end in divorce. It’s pitiful, and I’m certain many marriages could be saved if folks sought counseling. It’s an amazing experience for many of us.
This guy should have used a credit card. Ouch.
LikeLike
I don’t see how you paint her as “cold.” If she was cold she would have taken the ring and THEN told him later that she couldn’t see spending the rest of her life with him. And THEN fought to keep the ring (though she’d have no legal right to keep it). She gave him an up-front answer and that’s a good thing. And she never told him to sell his baseball cards! Why do women always get blamed when men do stupid things?
LikeLike
“he geave her the ring and she gave him the finger” sounds like a sappy country song! This sounds like lyrics and not reality! Really?? Why would someone give up a collection like that if you had any inclination that she may not say “YES”?
LikeLike
OK, who thinks this story is true?
I don’t.
Why?
The guy’s name is Owen. (Owin’ Owin’ money. Get it?)
And he lives in Chagrin Falls?
And he is Chagrined. And his spirits Fall.
C’mon, people!
LikeLike
It’s pretty simple…we live in a ‘throw away’ society now…nothing gets fixed…just replaced including people. Once it became common to throw things away rather than send them out to the local fix-it shop, it wasn’t that much of a jump to throwing away people…We don’t place much value on things today…including people…that’s the sad thing…a lot of people don’t care…today…it’s easier to get a new model…that’s the world folks…the ‘new’ world…
LikeLike
There is always a better boyfriend a mouse click away! Let’s face it!
LikeLike
Right on to Cathy.
Marriage is an institution which evolved in order to do best for children. It is that simple. It was not about love. It was for children. Despite all that I do favor legalized gay marriage, because our society has added all sorts of other legal stipulations, and equal rights should be for all.
LikeLike
I agree that one should have a reasonable idea of what her answer is before proposing and definitely before selling cherished stuff to propose. I think proposals can be done with ring on loan too. (in case she says no or it doesn’t fit or suit her) So it seems there were many ways to avoid this dilema. Maybe that lack of foresight is why she didn’t marry him—He might be someone who doesn’t look at the big picture and find the best options–check realistic likelihoods—have his eyes wide open, etc.
LikeLike