It hit Sunday night at the worst possible time. And I mean WORST possible time.
I was on a date. We were having dinner, we were staring in each others’ eyes, everything was perfect…
And then my stomach just twisted up in knots.
Butterflies? Nerves? Live crawfish in my tummy?
No. It was the onset of a 24-hour stomach bug. And the first sign of a 24-hour bug…
Um…
Scuse me…
Gotta find the restroom.
BLAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH URRRRRGHHHH deep breath no no BLLAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHH deep breath… ugh…
So after gave a couple of prayers to the holy god of porcelain… I returned to my dinner date. She looked worried. She wondered if someone had poisoned my food by accident. I said no. It was…
Oh crumbs.
I gotta go.
And yep… another couple of Technicolor yawns.
BLAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH URRRRRGHHHH deep breath Lord have mercy no no BLLAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHH deep breath… ugh…
The 24-hour bug had officially checked into Chateau Chuck.
Thankfully, my date was very understanding of the whole matter, and we’re still seeing each other. That’s a plus. But there’s no room in my life for a potential girlfriend and a confirmed stomach virus. And no, I don’t want to hear any of you wiseacres saying to me, “Chuck, isn’t that one and the same?” Go stand in a corner and don’t come out until I say you can.
All right. The 24-hour bug is in me… I gotta evict it. Game plan.
First thing. Get plenty of rest. Understand that when you get out of bed, the room is going to spin like you’re sitting in a laundromat dryer. Don’t try to over-exert yourself.
Drink plenty of liquids. You’re dehydrated. Get your body fluids back in equilibrium. Start with water. Work your way up to flat ginger ale. If those stay in you, then some chicken soup is your next choice. My Grandma Betty used to make the best chicken soup… and she would put alphabet noodles in it. Oh so tasty… no, I don’t have the recipe. At this point in time, Campbell’s Soups will have to do.
Take a day off from work. Don’t try to be “the hero” who comes into work, even if your head feels like someone is trying to jackhammer your skull from the inside. This is why most jobs offer sick time.
Take it easy. Drink more fluids. You might still feel a little weak-headed, it’s okay. Just take care of yourself.
Watch a funny movie. There’s an old saying that laughter is the best medicine, and the power of positive thinking will cure all. Get a movie that’s completely laugh-out-loud funny. Something that will have you completely rolling on the floor with merriment. Maybe one of the Hangover movies. Oh heck, make it a double feature and see both of ’em.
And then, once you think you’re feeling better, spend the night sleeping in a place that’s not your own regular bed. Sleep on the couch, sleep in the guest room, just not in your bed. Let your body feel like it’s the last night you’ll be sick, and that while your body is adjusting to the new sleeping accommodations, it’s also printing up the stomach bug’s hotel bill and eviction papers.
So it’s Tuesday morning and I’m feeling better. My date from the weekend has called to make sure I’m okay. She’s been worried. She’s glad I’m all right.
But then she asks me… “Did you have stomach pains that just came all of a sudden?”
“Yeah…”
“And you felt hot flashes and cold sweats at the same time?”
“Um… yeah…”
And at that moment, I realized what had happened. The stomach bug didn’t completely leave Chateau Chuck. It found a new residence. Dang it…
What a way to start a potential relationship. 😦
Chuck The Writer 
Take her some flat ginger ale and homemade chicken soup. That should help with the potential relationship.
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I agree with Bill W. Way back, a gazillion years ago, I was sidelined with strep throat and had to cancel date #3 with a super nice guy. A few hours later the doorbell rang. There he stood, holding a pint of vanilla ice cream. We’ve been happily married for 43 years. 🙂
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My grandmother also pushed weak, milky tea and “applesauce” (cut an apple so there’s a star in the center, then use a spoon to slowly scrape out the apple meat).
I agree with Pat – if you’re interested, the best gift is bringing a Get Well food package. And perhaps some scrubbing bubbles for the toilet.
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I like Bill W.’s suggestion and Pat’s story 🙂 Glad your date was checking up on you, but now it’s your turn to check up on her!
I have had two rounds with the stomach bug in the last two weeks and neither one was any fun. The last one I was at work and had to go home halfway through the day. I lay on the couch the rest of the afternoon and let my husband make me chicken soup for dinner and watched all the TV I wanted.
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