When you block someone on Facebook

For some, it’s an action equivalent to blasphemy.  For others, it’s a necessary means to survival and sanity.

And no matter who you do it to, you’re automatically branded as – well – a reactionary, a psychotic, a micromanager.  Like it’s your fault that this has escalated to this point in time, and that you’ve been forced to this measure of last resort.

It’s the blocking feature on Facebook.  Activate this feature, and whoever you have “blocked” will no longer have access to your posts.  They can’t write messages on your Facebook wall, they can’t stalk your messages and they can’t hassle your friends because of it.

I have hundreds of active friends on Facebook – nearly 300 people, and those are people that I actually know and would like to spend time with in the real world.  By that measure, I also have a couple dozen people that I have permanently blocked.  They can’t see my posts, they can’t contact me through FB, they can’t “like” my pictures or my comments.

And that’s fine by me.  I don’t want to speak with them, either.

Every so often, around this time of year, I look over this “block” list.  The list includes people who have hurt me in the past, who have teased and tormented and harmed my psyche and my soul.  I don’t have to give a reason why these people are blocked.  Other than if you’re blocked… that means I don’t want to talk to you or hear from you or even know that you exist on this planet.  I don’t want the harassment.  I don’t want the stalking.  I don’t want the passive-aggressive messages and missives and vile piles of bile.

Now there are people who feel that they don’t NEED to block anybody on Facebook, that they’re on good terms with people.  Some people, though… they don’t get the hint.

And for this, I give you the example of Janice Smith.  Or at least that’s the name that was used by the person who I blocked.

A few months ago, I noticed that I had a Facebook friend request from a “Janice Smith.”  Didn’t recognize the name from any of my trivia games, or from any of my other social circles.  I checked her history, which said she was born in Schenectady and that she worked at Brown’s Brewing for a few years.

Okay… must be one of the waitstaff whose first name I knew but not their last name.  Hmm… didn’t know a Janice as a server, though…

Although I felt a bit uncomfortable about this… I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and accepted her friend request.

And then all sorts of red flags popped up.

Red Flag #1: The person known as “Janice Smith” had only signed up a Facebook account twenty minutes before she friended me.

Red Flag #2: There were no pictures of “Janice Smith” on her profile – just a couple of generic Internet graphic memes.

Red Flag #3: After two hours, I checked back on her account.  She only had one FB friend – me.

Okay, that’s too many red flags.

Later that afternoon, I went to Brown’s Brewing for some lunch – and while I was there, I asked several of the servers if they knew a “Janice Smith.”

“No, and I’ve worked here for six years,” said one.

“Don’t recall the name,” said another.

“We’ve never had a ‘Janice Smith’ employed here,” said a third.

Hmm…  More red flags.

I checked her account again.  Still no other FB friends, except for me.

At which point I figured out what was going on.

There was no “Janice Smith.”  The account with that name was a phony account made up by someone – most likely someone who had harassed me in the past and who I blocked as a result – who tried to sneak back into my life by pretending to be someone else.

Congratulations, Janice Smith, you’ve been blocked on Facebook.  I don’t care who you are… I don’t feel comfortable having you as a FB friend.  And that’s the nicest thing I can say right now.

What, you don’t think there are people out there who make up specious accounts just to get around being blocked or unfriended?  Next thing you’re going to tell me is that the sun rises in the west.

I know people who have used phony FB accounts to spread vulgarities and hatespeech.  They might go that extra mile of copying a picture out of a fashion magazine and using that as a Facebook ID… but for all intents and purposes, that person is about as legitimate as a $3 bill.  And in putting up a phony account just for the purpose of stalking another FB user in some twisted schizophrenic online identity crisis… that’s just crass.

Let’s get a few things out of the way.

1. You are under NO OBLIGATION to accept anybody’s friend request.  If the thought of that person gives you a serious case of the nauseations… don’t accept the FB request.
2. If they’re hassling you on FB… unfriend them.
3. If you still feel uncomfortable… block them.  Upper right corner on your Facebook screen, click the little asterisk-star icon, then select “privacy settings.”  Then click the red icon on the left that says “blocking.”  Then enter the name of the person who you want blocked.  Click the blue “BLOCK” button.  Done.
4. You don’t need to give them any reason to contact you or bother you or hassle you.

I looked over my personal list of blocked FB users once again today.  Maybe as a last-minute gesture of goodwill, I might take one of them off the block list.

I thought so… but no.  As far as I’m concerned… those people on the block list NEED TO STAY on the block list.

Short and simple.