Time Warner Cable: Here we go again…

Wednesday night.  I’m feeling kinda sleepy, and as much as I want to stay up and watch Nashville (who died, Peggy the scheming political aide who married Teddy the mayor, or Will the conflicted country singer who was last seen standing on a railroad track), I’m thinking it’s better for me to get some sleep and watch it in the morning as part of an ABC.com streaming video service.

Thursday morning.  Up and at ’em.  I check ABC.com’s website.  Hmm.  The most recent Nashville episode was the midseason cliffhanger from a month ago.  I guess they haven’t uploaded the new episode to the website yet.

Later that morning, I checked on another computer.  Yeah, I really want to watch Nashville, in case you hadn’t figured it out.

Wait, what’s this “verify to watch” reference?

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Okay, I see AT&T, Cox, Verizon FIOS, xfinity, some other companies that I don’t recognize … hmm, no Time Warner Cable… how much does anybody want to bet that being a subscriber to Time Warner Cable will keep me from watching this week’s episode of Nashville online?

I filled in my info.  Provider?  I listed Time Warner Cable.

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Yep.  Here we go again.

I put up with this malarkey less than six months ago, when CBS and Time Warner Cable were having their little tiff.  Heck, I had to put up with these two companies as they recreated a temper tantrum at grade school recess, to the point where I couldn’t even watch the Smithsonian Channel for about a month because of the Time Warner/CBS petulance.

So what do I do at this point?

Well, from what I can gather, being a Time Warner Cable subscriber means that if an episode of a new ABC show airs – from Nashville to Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. to Once Upon A Time to Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, I won’t be able to watch the new episode online for at least a week.  Maybe the show will appear on the OnDemand Time Warner Cable channel (100), but with ABC it takes a couple of days for them to place the new episodes on that portal.

I could order a subscription of Nashville on iTunes, and then I could easily watch the new episodes on the morning after their airing.  But honestly, I like watching Nashville once per episode.  I don’t need to save every episode of it.

But yeah.  Once again, being a Time Warner Cable customer apparently puts me behind the eight-ball every time something like this occurs.  Two years ago, there was a dispute between WTEN and Time Warner Cable.  Last June, A&E and TruTV blocked access to their product if you were a Time Warner subscriber.  And I’m still trying to find my favorite cable channels after TWC scrambled up their cable lineup last October.  Oh, and in case you’re wondering, TruTV is still blocking Time Warner subscribers from watching TruTV shows online.

This is getting too old too fast.

I placed a phone call to Time Warner Cable.

After fifteen minutes of plowing through TWC phone jail, I finally got a human customer service representative.  Who at first wanted me to verify that my internet was working.  It is.  He then tried to sell me a Time Warner TV watch-on-computer app.  No, that’s not what I want.  I want to watch all the ABC shows I want, and I want to watch them whenever and wherever I choose, and I don’t want to be penalized because I’m a Time Warner Cable customer.

This is the “vintage 78 RPM phonograph” defense.  Because I’m just going round and round like a broken record.

The Time Warner rep put me on hold.  On.  Hold.  For.  What.  Seemed.  Like.  An.  E.  Ter.  Ni.  Ty.

And when the rep returned to the line – 20 minutes later – he read an e-mail to me that said, in effect, ABC is restricting its online “Watch ABC” feature to certain cable companies.  New episodes are blocked for eight days after their initial airing.  So this means that it might take me a week and a half to watch last night’s Nashville online.  Hello, net neutrality.

The Time Warner rep told me that I could still watch old ABC shows on the Time Warner OnDemand channel if I wanted to.  Well, isn’t that nice.  It’s once again a case of being promised one thing and receiving another.

When I got home last night, I tried to see if there was an alternative option.  And sure enough, there was.  I purchased an AppleTV module a couple of years ago, and it looks as if they’ve added some viewing options to their set-top box.  I can register my AppleTV with PBS… well, that was easy.  And looky here, there’s the application for the Watch ABC app…

Just what I’m looking for.  Ha.  I’m gonna watch ABC streaming through my AppleTV… all I have to do is register…

Oh no.  The Watch ABC app is asking what cable provider I currently use.  And yes, friends and associates, Time Warner Cable is NOT one of the offered choices.  So that was a waste of time.

So here we go again.  Joe Consumer gets rooked over ONCE AGAIN because he subscribes to Time Warner Cable.  ABC blocks coverage once again because – well, hey, it’s an over-the-air network, but it can do whatever it wants.  And what happens to us?  What happens to the loyal viewers who are promised this nice level of interaction and channel-shifting and convenience?

Well, if you’re a Time Warner Cable subscriber, it’s just plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

And I know there are people that are screaming at their computers, “Chuck, get a freakin’ DVR already.  And you won’t have to worry about all this.  And by the way, Crazy Peggy died on Nashville, so I just saved you an hour of viewing time.”

Thanks, man.  You’re probably the person who also told everyone that the ending of Breaking Bad follows the old Marty Robbins’ song “El Paso.”

Yeah.  I could get a Time Warner Cable DVR.  And I could add a few extra dollars to my already-too-high-for-a-reasonable-person-to-pay cable bill.  Yeah.  That’s about as straight as a squareknot.

Congratulations, Time Warner Cable.  Just when I think that being a subscriber to your cable service is the lowest possible thing out there…

You hand me a shovel and convince me to keep digging lower.