There’s something screwy here…

One of my favorite comic strips is Pearls Before Swine, the strip that takes “funny animals” comics and turns them all akilter. With Rat, Pig, Goat, Zebra, the Crocodiles, and a whole host of other characters, Pearls Before Swine is the first comic I read in the paper.

Well, apparently yesterday’s comic strip came with a bit of censorship.

Here was yesterday’s strip, as one of the patois-parlanced crocodiles has a visit from the Internal Revenue Service. This is the episode that aired in both the Times Union and in zillions of newspapers around the world.

And here’s the black-and-white copy of the same cartoon.

Other than the difference between monochrome and multicolor… look at the third panel.

The IRS agent reads from the crocodile’s tax form, which reads, “Screw you, guvmint, you no geet any.”

But when the cartoon was printed, the word “Screw” was replaced with other graphic blandishments.  Sort of like when I want to print a barnyard expletive in my blog and instead shows up.

Hmm.  I gotta think about this for a second.

Is “screw” such a bad word?

I mean, Tex Avery created a cartoon character named Screwy Squirrel…

And during Phil Spector’s hitmaking days, he had his girl group The Crystals sing a dance track called “(Let’s Dance) The Screw (Part I).”

Nobody ever stopped Elmer Fudd from using that word…

Nobody ever stopped Eric Cartman from using that word…

And one of the most famous wrestling matches of the past twenty years is known as the “Montreal Screwjob.” Watch it all unfold here.

One of the greatest pitchers of the 1980’s, Fernando Valenzuela, relied on a screwball pitch for the majority of his victories.

And then there is the motion picture genre known as the “screwball” comedy. Here’s a clip from one of the most famous screwball comedies, It Happened One Night. Yes, it’s THAT scene.

One of my favorite “funny music” groups is the quartet Throwing Toasters. Okay, it’s supposed to be a quartet, but the other three guys in the band have this tendency to not show up for concerts. So I’ll let Grant sing his song called “Skrew U.”

Even the Ramones had a song about being screwed up.

Fans of the TV show Full Throttle Saloon will recognize Jesse James Dupree and the band Jackyl, as they perform their hit song “Screwdriver.” Somehow I don’t think it involves the imbibing of orange juice and vodka. And hokey smokes are they actually using a Theremin in this song?

And at the risk of this blog post turning into an unannounced K-Chuck Radio post… here’s Ray Wylie Hubbard with his song, “Screw You, We’re From Texas.”

Of course, there’s always this type of screw work. Hey, you can laugh if you want to, but I know at least some of you are going to go to the hardware store to find construction screws and countersink drill bits.

So now we can all go back to the original Pearls Before Swine comic strip. I realize that in the context of the strip, that word “Screw” can be offensive to some people, and I understand why the syndicate replaced the word with the generic symbols for cartoon cursing. Of course, when I saw the bowdlerized version of the comic strip, I thought that the crocodile had actually written something more vulgar on his tax form.

Way to go, syndicate. Maybe you need a mixed drink of vodka and milk of magnesia.

Or as the old joke goes, you’ve just mixed up a Phillips Screwdriver.

Hee.