There is a proposal on the California state ballot that, if passed, would create six states from California itself. Yep, we could have the new states of Jefferson and Silicon Valley, as well as some other names – which most likely would require some corporate sponsorship, why one of them isn’t named “Hollywoodland” is beyond me – but if California were indeed allowed to subdivide into different sovereign states…
I’m thinking here…
What if New York did the same?
Yeah, what if some legislator decided to sneak a vote on the ballot that would allow the Empire State to subdivide into six different “Empire States”?
This could be interesting. Six New Yorks.
It’s not so far-fetched… I mean, there were several Native American tribes that formed what were then known as the Six Nations…
So after much thinking and jerrymandering and borderline-delineating…
I have solved the problem. If indeed the Empire State decides to subdivide…
Here are the newest states to the Union.
Yep. Meet the new states, along with their new names and new delineations.
Including:
BUFFACHESTER – State Capital: Lockport. Yep, give Western New York its own identity. They can have the Buffachester Bills, the Buffachester Sabres, their national dish can be a garbage plate with a side order of Buffachester wings.
DAHUDSON – State Capital: Woodstock. That’s right, turn “Big Pink” into a government building. The state anthem can be Jimi Hendrix’s version of the “Star Spangled Banner.” The state motto could be, “Hey, we’re not responsible for the Tappan Zee bond issue.”
BINGHUTICUSE – State Capital: Oriskany Falls. Trust me, would you rather have your state capital in Rome? Or Endicott? Or Westmoreland? Or any other farm-based locale? And think about the state food – Utica greens with a side order of chicken spiedies and some Terrell’s potato chips.
DACITTIE – State Capital: Williamsburg. Surely the five boroughs could put something together – well, maybe the four boroughs and Staten Island, but that’s another story. The name of this state is the same as when anybody in Albany says they’re going for the weekend to “the city.” Not the city of Albany, mind you. So let’s just give them their own state, and call it “Dacittie.” Oh, and the state animal can be the hipster.
LUNG GUY LAND – State Capital: somewhere in the Hamptons. So determined by Lung Guy Land’s first governor, P. Diddy.
And finally…
CAPITALAND – State Capital: Albany. That’s right, we get the Adirondacks, we get Saratoga, we get Lake George, we get all of that. No share-sies.
Now of course, this is all done in jest and humor, don’t take anything personally. And if you’re wondering, “Hey Chuck, what made you decide to create the states in these geographic delineations?”
Honestly? These are the same territorial breakdowns that are used for the Empire State Games.
Ha ha ha ha ha…
Chuck The Writer 
Of course, the CA proposal is bogus. Article IV, Section 3 of a little document called the United States Constitution says…
New states may be admitted by the Congress into this union; but no new states shall be formed or erected within the jurisdiction of any other state; nor any state be formed by the junction of two or more states, or parts of states, without the consent of the legislatures of the states concerned as well as of the Congress.
This so isn’t happening, even if the proposal somehow passed.
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Why does the light purple surrounding Buffahester not have a name? How about Niagaraerie?
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Nevermind. I feel stupid. That’s what I get for posting after a vacation.
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Thanks for the chuckle, Chuck.
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Nah, Chuck,
New York doesn’t need to be divided into 6 states. We only need division into the 2 we already are: Upstate & Downstate.
Let the 5 borroughs (and Westchester) fend for themselves. They think they’re so superior without us, anyway. (Remember all the Letterman bashing of Upstate?)
In fact, if you add in anything in northern NJ, I bet they’d be willing to go in on it, with southern NJ being NJ and the combined afforementioned NY counties adding to northern NJ to become the massive city/state of Oceana.
(Posted, as I’m sure yours was, with tongue firmly in cheek!)
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An even better idea??? Bring back the Empire State Games and leave the State whole!! Worst move ever dropping the Games!!
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One’s enough…………………
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Oh sure. Albany County and St. Lawrence County forming a political unit. What a practical notion. This map is so dumb that I’m sure two or three yahoos out there are going to take it up as a political cause. Soon after they announce that they’re an organization they’ll get secret funding from ALEC and the Koch Boys.
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