I have absolutely no idea why people delight in asking me these types of questions.
Let’s start with the basics and the history.
I was born into, for all that it means, a family with two religions. My father and his side of the family were Jewish (Conservative Jew, to be more precise); my mother and her side of the family were Catholic (Roman Catholic, to be more precise). I think when that happens, it designates me as part of the religion of “accident.”
During my 51+ years on this earth, I’ve bounced between conscription into one religion or the other. I’ve been married twice – once in a Catholic ceremony; once in a Jewish ceremony. Probably the only thing “similar” about both marriages is that they ended in divorce.
And over time, I’ve simply accepted that since both these religions can trace their lineage back to Abraham (Ibrahim if you count Islam as well); then so long as I can find faith and truth and encouragement and solace in the teachings of those sacred documents, then I’m fine with that. I don’t treat one religion as superior or inferior to the other, and although there are some conflicts, I simply look for the commonalities rather than the differentials.
However, when someone does find out about my religious background, they will either do one of the following:
- They will ask me if I believe there’s a heaven, because if I’m Jewish, then there’s no heaven for me.
- They will ask if I believe in Jesus, or if I’m one of those “Jews for Jesus” people.
- They will ask me if, as a kid, did I get nine days of gifts (eight days for Hanukkah and one day for Christmas), and if the holidays overlapped, did I get twice the number of gifts on that day.
- They will ask me if I celebrate a made-up holiday like Chrismukkah or Festivus or something of that nature. (Nah, I celebrate Chucksmas around that time of year)
- They will ask me if I believe in the teachings of this, that or the other thing, because I can’t believe in those if I’m Catholic – or I can’t believe in the other things if I’m Jewish.
First off, my religion is based on my personal beliefs. It’s influenced by those in my life for whom I hold deep love and respect. That includes clergy and lay people. It includes the moments of spirituality that I’ve felt in both St. Thomas the Apostle Church and the Congregation Beth Israel synagogue.
That’s not to say that I’m totally proficient in the tenets of both religions. Just as there are different divisions of Judaism and Catholicism, so too are there different divisions of all the world’s major religions. I couldn’t quote from Torah any more than I can quote from the Baltimore Catechism.
But what infuriates and offends me to no end, is when someone tries to quiz me in some contradiction between the two religions. As if I’m “practicing religion wrong.” As if I’m not doing it the correct way. As if they feel the need to “guide” me to the right religion, as if I’m stuck between two faiths and that it’s their sworn duty to help me find “the correct one.”
Probably the worst I’ve ever heard from someone regarding this subject is when someone simply said to me, straight up, looking me in the eyes, “You can’t believe in both. What do you think you are, a ‘Jew-atholic?'” Yeah, that’s right. Hurl invective at things you don’t understand.
I would never ever question someone’s belief or their religions. In fact, I might want to learn more about their faith. I wouldn’t start looking for nitpicks. That’s not the way things are supposed to work. And I’m not alone. There are millions of children who grow up in religiously blended families; it happens in our society and it’s nothing to criticize or chastise.
For example, look every Thursday at the “Best of Our TU Community Blogs” piece in my blog. There’s always an intelligent, well-written, evocative blog post by one of our religious blog-scribes, and it does not matter what faith or beliefs they possess.
And sometimes I wonder if people ask me these questions about my faith because they’ve never known of anyone with a bi-religious background.
And in a nutshell, I think this is the best response I can give anybody. Just as God has provided us with many different languages with which we can communicate with each other, so too did He provide us with different ways to communicate with him. Whether in church or synagogue, temple or mosque, your beliefs and your faiths are blessed and personal, as they should always be.
I don’t have time to pick apart what I don’t like about religion. I’d rather accept and embrace the parts that I appreciate.
And if you do the same with your faith… whatever it may be … that’s wonderful as well.
Chuck The Writer 
Right on, Chuck. I really don’t care what religion someone espouses. They just shouldn’t try to convert me and shove their religion down my throat.
However, I do enjoy a civil informative discussion – not an argument – about different religions to find out what they are about.
My sister and brother-in-law were of different “branches” of the same “belief”. They went with each other to both services on a pretty regular basis. When they passed a few years ago (a few years apart) the “celebrant” from both churches participated jointly in the funeral ceremony.
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That is an awesome attitude! Embrace the parts that you appreciate, and never question someone’s belief. If more and more people thought along those lines there might even be less wars.
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People tend to ask me about my beliefs as well, which I find terribly rude. I am not a fan of organized religion, even though I was raised Roman Catholic. I tend to look people right in the eye & say “I believe in God”. End of discussion, no justification, no quibbling about “which God”, no talk about Jesus. That answer was good enough for my very devout Roman Catholic grandmother when I left the Church – it should be good enough for anyone.
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I completely concur. Well said.
My response to “Jew-atholic” would have been, “What the (TU sez no curse words) are YOU? A (TU sez no curse words)?!
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To be frank, no one – family, acquaintance, or stranger – has asked me about my spiritual beliefs in a couple decades, and Chuck and I are about the same age.
Unless we also count it when people tell me to go to hell. In that case, I get asked about my religion several times a day!
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If you take some scripture literally, you’re going to find “contradictions.” Surely, I did, as a fading Christian in my 20s.
Ah, we have something in common I didn’t know about before.
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I was fortunate to be raised in a “mini U.N.” neighborhood three hours away. This meant I spent (about) equal time with people of all descriptions. I’d enjoy talking to these people, and I learned about compassion in all religions. My church was the most boring, and the Baptist and Lutheran churches were the most fun (music, positive speeches), but all churches/temples were good experiences.
While I expect to accomplish a lot, I know there’s a higher power (somewhere). Look at life around us (sea, plants, sky). Miracles rarely happen, but I still make desperate pleas like the rest of us. Many times for animal welfare. Once in a while, I’m lucky.
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