The day Bill Cosby stopped being funny

You don’t want to believe it’s possible.  You hope it’s all a misunderstanding, or a vengeful slur by a hurtful third party who wishes to destroy your happiness.

But eventually you discover it’s true.  Sad and true.  Painful and true.  And you can’t think of that person – or even that person’s name – without that person’s crime or transgression or sin wiping away every happy memory.

And now we can add Bill Cosby to this infamous list.

I will not lie.  Bill Cosby used to make me laugh.  I used to listen to old Bill Cosby stand-up albums when I was a kid and I though they were the funniest recordings around.  I used to watch Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids every Saturday morning.  And The Cosby Show.  And The Cosby Mysteries.  And even reruns of the old Bill Cosby Show on Aspire TV.

His humor helped me get through some dark periods in my adolescent life.  Listening to his old comedy records, memorizing those stand-up monologues, laughing for the fifteenth time at the same joke – it was survival for me.  And for that I will always be grateful.

But to hear afterward about all the women, all the claims of drugs and rape and cover-ups… I couldn’t have been the only person who hoped that it wasn’t true.  But eventually all that came to my mind about the situation was Schrödinger’s cat.  As long as the box is still sealed, you don’t know if the cat is alive or dead.

The other day, someone opened the lid of the box.  Or, more specifically, unsealed court documents from 2005 that assert that Bill Cosby, under oath, admitted to securing Quaaludes for the purpose of providing them to women and eventually having sexual relations with those women while they were under the influence of the Quaaludes.

Here’s the unsealed document from 2005.

And on page 18 of 66… the following testimony from Bill Cosby, under oath.

“I met Ms. [redacted from document] in Las Vegas.  She meets me back stage.  I give her Quaaludes.  We then have sex.  I do not — I can’t judge at this time what she knows about herself for 19 years, a passive personality … [redacted from document] was sweet in her personality.  As far as I was concerned was well-mannered, didn’t demand or give a feeling that she was above anyone.  If anything, I think she may very well have been very happy to be around the show business surroundings…”

Urgh.

And in that moment, someone opened the box.  And Schrödinger’s cat – and by “Schrödinger’s cat” I mean Bill Cosby’s credibility and respectability – was indeed dead.

And I am immediately reminded of the fact that someone’s actions in a sport or on the movie screen are just that – actions.  Their real lives are quiescently different.  Sometimes those lives and choices are darker.  Tremendously darker.

Five years ago, I blogged about the actions of Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.  For years I thought he would eclipse Terry Bradshaw as the greatest quarterback to ever don the black and gold.  And then came the allegations of unwanted sexual contact towards women.  Oh, let’s not sanitize it.  The guy assaulted women without their consent.  That’s rape.  And even today, if I’m talking about my fandom for the Steelers, I’ll mention everybody from Antonio Brown to Le’Veon Bell to Martavis Bryant to Troy Polamalu – heck, I’ll even give props to Shawn Suisham, I’ve got him in my all-kicker-and-punter fantasy team – but as far as I’m concerned, the guy sporting a #7 jersey and taking snaps under center is just “the quarterback.”  He doesn’t deserve to have his name uttered from my lips.

In fact, let me throw some names at you right now.  O.J. Simpson.  Yeah, before 1994 – football player, pitchman, appeared in the Naked Gun movies.  After 1994 – you fill in the information.

Another one.  Joe Paterno.  Yeah, before 2011 – legendary football coach.  After 2011 – the Sandusky scandal and his efforts to cover it up or turn a blind eye to it.

How about a few more?  Rolf Harris.  Gary Glitter.  Pee-Wee Herman.  There are others.

And I’ll say this, too.  None of us are perfect.  Me least of all.  I’ve screwed up in my life.  And I admit to that.

But what Bill Cosby did – and has admitted to doing under oath – those actions just tore everything else apart.

I used to laugh with Bill Cosby.

The recent revelations, however, are no laughing matter.