“And Deven Robertson lost his jumper!”

My blog buddy Alan Ilagan has a feature on his blog, a feature called the “Dazzler of the Day.”

Well, for some reason he awarded the Dazzler of the Day to an Australian Rules Footballer by the name of Deven Robertson. Robertson plays for the Brisbane Lions, who right now are battling the Collingwood Magpies for the top two spots in the AFL standings.

Quick recap – Australian Rules Football is a hybrid of soccer, rugby and straight-up unprotected violence. There are really three things Americans need to know about Aussie Rules Footy –

• Collingwood’s roster has the only American in the AFL – a giant named Mason Cox. You can see him in the video embedded below – look for the guy in the black-white striped 46 jersey. He’s the guy with the Clark Kent glasses, can’t miss him.
• You score points by kicking the ball between two tall poles at the end of the field – that gets you six points. Kicking the ball between a tall pole and one of the shorter outer poles is a “behind,” and it’s worth one point.
• There’s a team in the AFL known as the St. Kilda Saints … they are the epitome of frustration, they’ve existed for 150 years and they’ve claimed a total of one – ONE – championship during that time. Rooting for St. Kilda is like, oh, I don’t know, rooting for the Detroit Lions. They’ll break your heart every time.

So anyways …

Last weekend, Collingwood and Brisbane had a serious war in the first of a home-and-away series. The lions won 124-100 (I’m sorry, 19-10-124 to 15-10-100), but the fun moment took place in the second quarter. During that moment, Deven Robertson had his jersey – sorry, guernsey – ripped off when Collingwood’s Brayden Maynard tackled him. Robertson played in a tattered uniform top for a few minutes, until another tackle completely shredded the outfit beyond repair.

So what’s an Aussie Rules player to do? Keep playing the game until the trainer can get you a replacement top. And that’s what Robertson did – he played another two or three minutes before a stoppage in play allowed him to cover up his modesty.

And you can’t just give a player a fresh uniform and play on. AFL jerseys have GPS trackers in them, so the players’ movements can be viewed on various electronic components and screens. The field hand had to get the old GPS out of the shredded sweater, attach it to the new sweater, and convince Robertson that he can’t run around Marvel Stadium like he’s the second coming of Tarzan.

So yeah, just watch this. You’ll understand.

Yeah. Fun, fun stuff.

That’s what Aussie Rules Footy needs. More shirts and skins games.

Oh, wait … did you know there’s also a women’s Aussie Rules Footy league?

I bet those jerseys are made of stronger material. I don’t think the sporting world can handle more than one wardrobe malfunction in a league, amirite?