This blog post was almost written from beyond the grave.

Background.

I’m still in the hospital, after undergoing a vascular bypass on my left leg. And suffice it to say … this blog post almost stopped its existence. Essentially because the blogger himself almost stopped existing.

On Thursday, I went into surgery. The surgery took over 5 1/2 hours, during which time the doctors tried to find a healthy replacement vein in my body for the bypass. During that time, I started to bleed out. I lost three units of blood on the table before the surgery could be completed, and after the surgery I needed three more units of blood to replenish my dwindling stock. 

My left leg was wrapped like a mummy’s coverings, and the coverings felt like they were made of cement. I could barely move. Eventually, after some physical therapy, I was able to walk to the bathroom with a metal walker. A few hours later, I could walk to the nurses’ station with the walker. A few hours after that, I could do an entire lap around the hospital floor powered by the walker. By the next day, the walker was left in the hospital room and I still made the laps around the hospital floor. Progress.

On Saturday, the operating team came in to tell me all about the surgery. I was very lucky. They found a replacement vein in my leg at the very last possible moment, and used it to bypass what had been slow, decaying blood conduits. And I can tell you … I can feel this vein the same way a princess can feel a pea under 20 mattresses. 

They changed the bandage. And before they put a fresh bandage on my leg …

I caught a photo. I should note … if you are squeamish about post-surgical images, you might want to skip over this graphic. You have been warned.

What do you think, folks? Altamont? Big E? :D

That is a row of sutures and staples running from my groin to my ankle. And I can feel the presence of every single staple in my body like it came from a red stapler in Office Space. Owie owie owie. 

I made it through the weekend – I should note that on a pain scale of 1-10, my total pain is about a 2 … which means that I’m taking Tylenol to mitigate the pain. I don’t care if the pain rises to unimaginable levels – I do not want to take anything that contains opiates. No fucking way. 

There’s a second surgery planned for today, it will involve some debridement of my foot and hopefully a removal of any contaminants and poisons that have recently developed. And if all goes well … I might get released from the hospital by tomorrow.

The staples will be in my leg for at least one more week, and I’ll need to take it easy around the house. 

But I’ve gotten this far. 

I’ve cheated death. 

At least this time.