Even though I have absolutely no room in my home to set up a model railroad layout, I do have some rolling stock in my possession – it’s MTH’s Canadian Pacific Holiday Train O-gauge railroad set (the locomotive, four box cars and a stage car).
I acquired the stage car from a merchant named Pat’s Trains, and in doing so, I ended up on his mailing list. No big deal, I’ve landed on 30 years of mailing lists, what’s another one for my email folder going to do?
Well … that’s before I saw THIS email alert.
Pat’s Trains has received a commission to produce 30 O-gauge diesel locomotive pieces, and when the email was sent to me, I was alerted that of the 30 commissioned, only 19 remain available. And for only $569.99, I can acquire my very own …
That’s right. You can go to this link and purchase your own Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train for your personal layout.
And you know what? The jokes just write themselves.
Yes, you too can own your very own personal Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train. Ride it around your layout. Be aware that the train will stop your layout’s golf course for the weekend.
Look, I don’t know if the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train was commissioned by Convicted Felon Donald Trump’s political campaign. It most likely was built as a special run by one of Convicted Felon Donald Trump’s loyal supporters, who wanted a special Convicted Felon Donald Trump memento.
I’ve looked at the specs of the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train. Apparently the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train has a computer chip in it – just like most other model railroad locomotives of the day – where by pressing certain buttons on your control panel, you can make the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train belch out various whistles and bells, just like a life-size train would. Then again, I’m sure that a tech-savvy Convicted Felon Donald Trump fan would crack open the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train, try to reverse-engineer the sound effects chip, so that as the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train belches out such classic Convicted Felon Donald Trump bon mots as “Witch Hunt” and “Russia, if you’re listening,” and “If she wasn’t my daughter, I’d date her.”
I wonder if the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train comes with various rolling stock pieces. You know, like a Lauren Boebert boxcar that’s advertised as being crafted by hand. Sure it is. 😉 Or a QAnon oil tanker with faux spray-painted WWG1WGA graffiti all over it. Blecch.
But then again, I’m sure there’s a market for this Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train. Heck, the email I received said that although there was a limited run of 30 Convicted Felon Donald Trump Trains, the seller is down to 19 Convicted Felon Donald Trump Trains available today. So that means, if my math is correct, at least eleven gullible Convicted Felon Donald Trump fans took $570 (plus shipping and handling and tax) out of their emergency Doomsday prep and Ivermectin Mason jar, and purchased their own Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train.
Well, you know what? Good on them. If you want a Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train, I’m not going to stop you from buying a Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train. Heck, I put a link to the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train in this blog post. And trust me, I’m not getting any redirect fees or the like from showcasing the link to the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train.
I’m sure you can put that Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train next to your other Convicted Felon Donald Trump collectibles. Maybe you bought those Convicted Felon Donald Trump gold-painted sneakers. Or perhaps you own that Convicted Felon Donald Trump Bible with the “Thou shalt not commit adultery” passage removed from the Book of Exodus. The Convicted Felon Donald Trump Train will display well next to your diploma from Convicted Felon Donald Trump University, or the collection of beer cups you’ve saved from your time at the Convicted Felon Donald Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. I mean …. go for it, bro.
And you might have noticed, just by counting every time I’ve referred to Convicted Felon Donald Trump as “Convicted Felon Donald Trump,” that it’s been nearly three dozen references.
Actually, I’ve only referred to Convicted Felon Donald Trump as “Convicted Felon Donald Trump” 34 times.
You know … once for each felony for which he was convicted. 😀
Chuck The Writer 
This is undoubtedly one of the most humorous pieces you’ve penned on your blog in quite a while. As a lifelong rail enthusiast, I’m fortunate to have a partner like Amelia, who wholeheartedly embraces my eclectic decor choices, including fire trucks, dinosaurs, and, naturally, trains! Our collection boasts HO, O, and now G scale trains. I dream of recreating the expansive layout I enjoyed as a little girl, but like you, I’m constrained by space limitations. And rest assured, there is no way I will include anything Trump-related in my collection, as it is in bad taste. Thank you for the delightful laughs! 😀
LikeLike
No doubt it’s made in the Land of Freedom, China.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Only 30?!
Think investment, collector’s item, eBay…down the road.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m going to check to see if eBay has a bad taste category. I’ll report back shortly. 😉
LikeLike