By: Chuck Miller
Having Fun

Your model railroad can now be red or blue.

Last month, I blogged about how a company called Pat’s Trains had produced a limited-edition line of Donald Trump for President O-gauge locomotive rolling stock. You know, the perfect gift for your MAGA recreation of Gilead from The Handmaid’s Tale.

When they say, “Get on the Trump Train,” I don’t think this is what they meant.

Now the original run of Donald Trump for President locomotives sold out (figuratively and literally), but now, if you want to have a viable electable alternative, Pat’s Trains now offers a Joe Biden for President O-gauge locomotive set.

This train, custom-printed by MTH RailKing, runs for $419. It seems to represent a slightly older train than the Trump train (maybe three years older, give or take), and might get a bit bogged down if it catches a cold, but it’ll definitely pull your model railroad out of whatever depression or recession your little plasticine population might undertake.

And you say to me, “Chuck, that’s all good and well, but I don’t have a model railroad set that would handle another locomotive. I live in a small place and my significant other might not appreciate me purchasing a big, long O-gauge train, no matter whose name is on the livery.”

Well, guess what.

This isn’t the only Biden-branded train that Pat’s Trains has in stock.

Check out this little treasure.

It’s a Biden for President “Bump ‘n Go” trolley. The kind that can operate from one end of a track to the other. I mean, it looks like something that could putter around the hilly streets of Scranton (so long as it doesn’t run into a road with 40,000 pounds of bananas). It’s also available as a RailKing custom print, and will set your wallet back only $79. And yes, it’ll go forwards and backwards. Without stumbling. So there’s that.

So here’s the thing. I kinda ragged on Pat’s Trains for the Donald Trump locomotive. But at least the company did commission and make available a line of Joe Biden locomotives – and even a Joe Biden “Bump ‘n Go” trolley. Equal time. I’m good with that.

And before you ask, no, I didn’t find any Robert F. Kennedy Jr. train set. I mean, something like that only travels the trails to get attention on itself. Besides, the other political trains run on electric power, as do most modern electric train sets. I’m sure a Robert F. Kennedy Jr. train would run on hot air and brain worms.

Yeah. I went there. And I don’t care.