It only took 14 years for John Cena to respond back.

If there was ever a defining moment in professional wrestling where fans just went, “Did that actually happen? That wasn’t part of a script? What in the ever-loving soul of Bruno Sammartino is going on here?” – it would have to be the events of June 27, 2011.

During a live telecast of the WWE’s flagship show Monday Night Raw, John Cena and R-Truth were battling each other in the ring, with the stipulation that the person who put his opponent through a wooden table would be declared the victor. At the time, Cena was in a white-hot feud with another wrestler, CM Punk, and Punk interfered in the match long enough for R-Truth to spear Cena through a table and claim victory.

Then came the second part of the match. Some microphone work from CM Punk that, in wrestling lore, is known as “The Pipe Bomb.” Because CM Punk basically eviscerated John Cena on the microphone – while Cena lay in the wring, unable to leave. And Punk treated the moment like the arrival of Festivus – because that evening, CM Punk had a ton of grievances and he wanted to air every single one.

And he went into several different previously taboo subjects. He mentioned other wrestling companies on a WWE broadcast (oh my God, he mentioned New Japan Pro Wrestling! He mentioned Ring of Honor! He mentioned someone IN Ring of Honor!!). He called wrestlers by their government names rather than their stage names (his reference to “Dwayne” rather than The Rock). By the time WWE cut his microphone off, CM Punk had cut the most memorable speech on a WWE broadcast since the time Stone Cold Steve Austin created his own Bible verse.

This would later fuel one of the greatest technical matches in WWE in the last two decades, the CM Punk / John Cena “Money in the Bank” match for the WWE Championship. The match was in CM Punk’s home town of Chicago, and the fans love CM Punk in Chicago. And if you’ve got 45 minutes to watch a 5-star match with plenty of build-up and plenty of drama … I got cha covred.

It’s now 14 years later. CM Punk eventually left WWE, retired for a while, moved to All Elite Wrestling for two years, got fired from AEW, returned to WWE, and is now in main-event programs once again. John Cena left WWE, made a ton of movies and TV shows, and is back on a “retirement tour.” And on last weekend’s WWE SmackDown broadcast … after CM Punk suffered a loss and lay smashed through a “Slim Jim” branded table – John Cena took the microphone.

And 14 years later … he decided to pack a pipe and blow it up.

This time, however … it just didn’t seem as authentic as CM Punk’s 2011 shrapnel speech. This didn’t come from the man once revered for is microphone skills and his “Doctor of Thugganomics” charisma.

This felt totally scripted. I mean … it hit all the same point marks as CM Punk’s 2011 speech, and it referenced wrestlers no longer in the company (hi, Claudio Castagnioli!), but honestly … it just did not feel authentic to me.

It just felt rehearsed. It felt like Cena had an outline and took the time to hit every single bullet point.

But it means the two of them will have another match for a championship in (checks notes) Saudi Arabia.

But I guess after 14 years, if John Cena and CM Punk can dust off the rust and have another five star match, fine by me.

But for me, if I want to see a true promo battle between CM Punk and someone who is truly Punk’s equal on the microphone … someone who truly despises CM Punk both in and out of the ring.

There’s only one man for that role.

Bring Eddie Kingston into the WWE.