All I need now is a blue button-down shirt with an embroidered “CHUCK” patch.

Last week, I grew a pair of big brass ones and changed the cabin filter on my 2017 Chevrolet Volt Premier (“Lightning’s Girl”). Took about 15 minutes, and saved myself a bit of cash.

Now I want to try another swap-out – this time, replacing the engine air filter.

Now since this car is a hybrid PHEV vehicle (running with both an electric and an internal combustion engine), the engine air filter should last longer than most other full-gasoline air filters. But it should be replaced nonetheless.

Saturday morning. Popped the hood.

All I need to do is remove five screws from the engine housing, and …

Hmm. What do I need to remove these screws?

Looks like I need a socket wrench. 8mm bit with a long neck.

I don’t have one of those.

Closed the hood.

Off to the hardware store. $25 later, I nabbed one.

Back home. Popped the hood.

One screw out.

Now comes the eternal question. What does one do with the screws so that they don’t disappear? Screws are notorious for rolling away, even when you think they can’t. I went back into the house, found an old cup, brought the cup outside, and dropped the screw in the cup.

Trust me, I didn’t read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance in college just to forget some of its concepts.

Five screws removed.

Out comes the air filter.

I mean … does that really look THAT dirty?

Well, it’s out. So there’s that.

I unwrap the new filter and shimmy it into the housing, making sure it lines up flush with its new locale.

Back to the cup. Screws. Five of them. Nobody ran away. Or if they did, they couldn’t get over the cup lid.

I remembered that when one replaces tires, the lug nuts are installed in a star pattern, so I installed each screw in a star pattern, starting with the most difficult screw first.

Five screws installed. A little hand-shake to make sure everything is seated properly.

Okay … Now comes the fun.

Start the car. Car starts.

I stare at the dashboard. I’m waiting for that check engine light to flash at me. It stays silent. It stays dark.

I drive around the block. No check engine light.

I drive over to Watervliet. No check engine light.

I stop at the local AutoZone and purchase new wiper bladss (Duralast 26’s) and some wiper fluid (Rain-X 2-in-1 all-weather). Installed.

Not bad.

Again, it’s the little things. I’m not trying to penny-pinch, but in this era of Trumpflation and stagflation and tariffs and price-gouging, I need to take care of myself and my finances and my well-being.

And again … I’m not looking to overhaul a transmission on Lightning’s Girl.

But I can comfortably say that I now can save $200 by buying $100 worth of filters and parts, and doing stuff by myself.

Without a nasty check engine light telling me that I fucked up.