Gold and Diamonds

I’ve had emotional breakdowns in the past.

And I look for ways to pull myself out of this malaise.

But it’s not easy. It never is.

I try to bake. I try to cook. I look up new recipes.

Last week, I made Lighthouse Inn potatoes. Diced up some russets, boiled them in light cream, and mixed them with panko bread crumbs and shredded cheese.

Look at that. A delicious meal for two.

Then I realize … it’s not a meal for two any more.

I started working on another thermometer advertising artwork. Took the photo out of the original thermometer casing and used a Google search to find the image.

And I found the location. It’s a place in Massachusetts called Spy Pond. Wow, that looks a like a nice romantic getaway for two.

And then I realize … it wouldn’t be for two.

And I start another art project. I found a burlap bag and purchased some embroidery floss.

I mean, I’m trapped here this weekend due to the snowstorm, let me start on this.

And I pulled a few strands through the burlap … stitch by stitch … and at the end of the day, I made it through this level.

A few months of working on this, and I can enter it in competition. And then she and I can go to the event, and …

And then it comes back to me. There’s no more “she and I” any more.

It ended last month. We broke up.

And no amount of cooking or travel or anything will bring us back together.

Yes, I’m still processing things. I’m still functioning. But it’s not easy.

All I can say is that she is is beautiful and caring and compassionate.

And for all that time together, it was magical.

But things end at some point. And it ended for us last month.

And now I’m back by myself.

Even as I pen today’s blog post, I had hope against hope that maybe this was just a crazy nightmare, that I would wake up and the past month of emotional anguish would be just some horrible after-effect of uncomfortable slumber.

But it isn’t.

We’ve gone our separate and distinct ways. And I wish her every happiness and every joy for every day going forward.

This isn’t a “it’s her fault” or “it’s his fault” situation. And I’m not here to write a blog post to trash anyone. That’s not how I operate.

I’ll take the blessings of the years we were together and enjoy those moments. Because they are good moments.

We only get one chance of life upon this earth. Tomorrow is not promised. All we have is our time today, and the memories that brought us here.

And I’ll treasure each one of those memories like the gold and diamonds that they are.