If I asked you about your favorite film adaptation of any of J.R.R. Tolkien’s works, I’m sure most of you would say, “Chuck, go get a Blu-Ray of the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings trilogy,” and your argument would be valid.
Now if you want to take this into a deep cut, you could argue that there’s plenty of charm and beauty in Ralph Bakshi’s 1978 animated adaptation. I mean, how can you go wrong with a ton of old-school roto-scoping?
And those of us who grew up with the Dr. Demento show will automatically reference this classic track, as sung by – yep – Leonard Nimoy, in what appears to be a major attempt to un-Spock himself.
Okay. Those all possess various levels of majesty and sincerity.
I showed you those … to prepare you for this.
It’s 1966, and William Snyder, an animated cartoon producer whose most famous works at the time included some surreal Popeye the Sailor and Tom and Jerry shorts, held the rights to produce a full-length motion picture based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. But the deadline for his ownership of the rights was quickly approaching, and Snyder had to do something quick.
And by “quick,” I mean REALLY quick. If he didn’t produce a Hobbit full-length animated feature, he would lose the rights to the Tolkien book.
So Snyder contacted his animation collaborator, Gene Deitch, and the duo set about to create a Hobbit film that would allow Snyder to retain the motion picture rights. All they had to do was create a full-length animated motion picture, and Snyder would be all set.
And honestly, they “created” a “full-length” motion picture. The film was screened once – in front of a select audience who would then signed affidavits that they witnessed a “full-length” motion picture based on the Hobbit story. And this allowed Snyder to retain the rights, which he eventually sold to Warner Brothers for $100,000. Nice return on an investment.
Eventually that “full-length” motion picture made its way to YouTube, where everybody can now see this “full-length” animated film. And if you’ve noticed that I’ve encased “full-length” in quotations throughout this blog post, you can guess how much effort William Snyder exerted to maintain possession of the Hobbit movie rights.
Brace yourself. This is the “Snyder cut” of The Hobbit. Look away now, lest your eyes be seared for all time.
Um … yeah. I’ve seen coloring books with more animation than this. I mean, this DEFINITELY fits the bill of “I made the film, here it is, don’t take my movie rights away.” Yowtch.
I mean … I guess if a twelve-minute film is considered “full-length,” yeah, sure.
Now, if all of you will excuse me … I need to visit my medicine cabinet and swallow about 50 Tums to keep my stomach from exploding. Ugh.
Chuck The Writer 