Would I have the cojones to eat green crab?

There are some foods – both in the real world and in fiction – that were designed to be eaten. Eaten as often as possible.

In the Babylon 5 TV show, it was spoo. In the Lil’ Abner comics the schmoo was the delicacy of choice. Heck, the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy even had the Dish of the Day, which actually begged diners to consume it.

Well, in our real world, there’s an invasive species that, thanks to climate change and global warming, has ravaged our coastal waterways and damaged our aquaculture.

That invasive species is the green crab.

At one point in time, green crab (which may have traveled here from the ballasts of merchant ships centuries ago) were held in check by our cold winter waters. But as the water temperatures rose, green crab survived and thrived on the eelgrass that populated the ocean floor. It also feasted on other native species, and grew unchecked and unstopped.

With that in mind … some gourmands are looking at green crab as a sustainable food source for US.

Hey, what better way to get rid of a pest than to consume it?

Think about this. Once you toss the green crab’s carapis in a pot for stock, and remove its gills, you could deep-fry the remains or create some bisque. As this chef does. Mind you, he does show how to prepare a green crab, so if you’re kinda squeamish about this, you might want to consider some viewer discretion.

Meanwhile, someone in New Hampshire has created a green crab whiskey. Because, of course they have.

Or if you’re planning on some seafood munchies for the big game in a few weeks … can you really go wrong with deep-fried green crab?

The thing is … I keep vacillating between “Hey, I’ve got to try this, it would be a great recipe for a Bachelor Cooking blog segment,” and “No way am I letting those little nasties get anywhere NEAR my plates.” In fact, one of the only places I could really source green crab would be from Wulf’s Fish, which ships two-pound frozen bagfuls of these creatures for $10 a bag.

Trust me, these things are small. We’re not talking those gigantic Alaskan King Crab legs you see on episodes of Deadliest Catch. To get a similar amount of meat, you’d have to harvest pounds and pounds of green crab – which is why these recipes online have green crab as either an add-on for stock, or as some sort of finger food or side dish.

I mean … I’m tempted. I really am. I mean, with the prices of eggs and other foods going through the roof, I might need a new source of protein.

But I think what I’ll do first is – the next time I visit some seacoast town in New England, I’ll see if they have any sort of green crab delicacy on the menu. And if they do, I’ll give that a try. That way, I’m not wasting $10 and hoping that I can prepare these little monsters before they try to escape and scurry to freedom.

This could be fun, though. Green crab with Spam. Green crab meat mixed with Miracle Whip, like tunafish. Green crab deep-fried crab cakes with Old Bay sauce.

And if I don’t eat the green crabs …

There’s another creature that will dine on them like they were candy.