Where are the eight great nitro-burning funny cars??

I swear I’m not hallucinating this.

As a kid, I used to listen to the local radio Top 40 radio stations in the area – 980 AM WTRY (they had American Top 40 on Sundays, which was a plus) and 1540 AM WPTR (which had a range that could be picked up whether I lived in Albany or was visiting my Grandma Betty in Boston).

That being said, I do remember both stations airing, from time to time, a series of high-energy hyper-active radio commercials for the local dirt tracks and dragstrips, whether it was Albany-Saratoga Speedway or Lebanon Valley Speedway … and the announcements always sounded like ten cups of mainlined black coffee mixed with plenty of reverb and echo.

Sort of like this.

Or maybe this. Lots of hype and pitch and energy.

I need something a bit more local. How about this one from the track in Niagara Falls?

This one sounds more like what I’m expecting. Complete with the Sunday! Sunday!! Sunday!!! entry.

And this one from Raceway Park in New Jersey comes complete with the high-octane intro of someone who huffed a can of nitrous oxide before stepping to the microphone.

The only one I haven’t found yet … and the one that seems to epitomize these vintage dragway and raceway radio spots … is the one where that nitrous oxide voice belts out the arrival of eight great nitro-burning FUNNY CARZZZZZ!

The fact that you read the last half of that sentence in your mind with that high-pitched voice should tell you I’m right.

Now if you’ll excuse me … I need to head over to one of these parks. Especially if Don Garlits and Jake Prudhome is racing against Shirley Muldowney in a time trial.