This is a very important blog post, so please bear with me.ย And I realize this is some heady stuff for a Monday morning, but when has that ever stopped me from writing about heady stuff?
Whether you’re reading content from a Times Union staff blogger or from a Times Union community blogger (like me), you are experiencing a part of our lives and our worlds.ย On our blogs, you get to visit a peaceful llama farm or travel the world as a videographer, you experience the excitement of mixed martial arts or raising kids or going to college or completing a medical residency or getting fit or eating at various Capital District restaurants.ย As bloggers, we provide our world to you – our views and our insights and our observations, our successes and our failures, our triumphs and our tragedies.
But we all have a line.ย It’s a line between our public personae on a weblog and our private, personal lives.ย And sometimes that line gets crossed – whether by circumstance or by happenstance, whether by ourselves or by something outside our control.
Someone crossed that line with Jason Purvis last week.ย Jason blogs about raising one of the cutest little kids out there (hi Abbi), and he shares his views on fatherhood with all of us.ย He was also featured in last week’s Times Union blogger profile, and he and Abbi went to the TU offices and had their picture taken, with the picture running alongside his biography.ย Great stuff.
Apparently the other day, someone didn’t appreciate that picture, and an “altered” copy was left on Jason’s desk at his day job.ย The artistic alterations – which were done on Abbi’s photo – bothered Jason, and he blogged about it.ย And then he updated that blog post.
First off, whoever felt the need to draw something on Abbi’s picture and leave it at Jason’s desk – listen to me, you cretin, whoever you are, you’re lower than a snail’s navel.ย Grow up and leave little kids alone.
But it brings us to another part of blogging.ย How much do we, as community and staff bloggers, really need to tell every single aspect of our lives to you?ย Our spouses might appreciate a mention now and again in the blog, but if we’re fighting about something, the whole world doesn’t need to hear about it.ย Many of us have day jobs or other gainful employment outside the aegis of the Times Union, but our jobs may involve sensitive information that could get compromised if it was posted in a blog.
And if our lives are private, I can assure you so too are the lives of our loved ones.ย It’s why I list my medical providers under comedic pseudonyms – which caused an interesting situation; after reading one of my blog posts, my friend Donna contacted me and said, “I’ve worked with several doctors in the Capital District; but who is this gastroenterologist named Dr. Dreyneaux?ย Never heard of him.ย Is he any good?ย Oh wait – Dreyneaux – is that pronounced Drano?ย For a gastroenterologist?ย Aw geez Chuck…”
If we ever do go into detail in a blog about our personal world, we must weigh the pros and cons of doing so.ย Jen Smith, she of the Austin Ben Connor blog, made this comment on Jason’s original post regarding the altered photo.ย And she brings up some very salient points.ย As her kids grow, she may consider curtailing or even eliminating her blog altogether for the sake of their privacy.ย But for now, her blog is a fantastic outlet to share the joys and challenges of raising her wonderful children.
Conversely, it’s also the same reason why many people respond to our posts under anonymous identities or sobriquets.ย Their lives are private as well – what kinds of consequences could they face if they, as a teacher, said on a blog comment, “The Albany City School District is a bunch of no-good finks” and signed their real name to the post?ย Goodbye tenure…
As TU bloggers, we don’t have that “anonymity.”ย You see our first and last names on our posts.ย And, for the most part, you have an idea of what we are like and what we like.ย Amanda Talar hearts Glee.ย Kevin Marshall hearts Georges St. Pierre.ย Teri Conroy hearts Carhartt.ย I heart Cardachrome.
But I’m not going to tell you where I work.ย And I’m not going to tell you where I live.ย And I’m not going to tell you about that time in college when I … oh wait, I did tell you about that time in college when I…
Ultimately, the decision to reveal or to not reveal is within each of us bloggers.ย We have our “off limits” areas – our personal sanctum sanctorum if you will – and as much as we appreciate your comments and posts and re-tweets and whatnot, there are some parts of our lives and some people IN our lives, where aren’t comfortable listing that information on a weblog.ย But if we do list that info, then please understand why we do so.
And if you feel that you need to write some obscenities or whatnot on a little kid’s picture and give that picture to the kid’s father, then if you’re going to act like a little brat, you should be treated like a little brat.ย Go sit in the corner.
Now.ย Nose to the wall.
And don’t move until I say you can move.
Got it?ย Good.
Chuck The Writer 
Sorry, but I’m not seeing what the big deal is here Chuck. Someone printed the photo of Jason and his child and drew something on it. That seems to be a problem at his place of employment and not with us.
Was it immature, certainly? Jason trotted a picture of his kid out in public and someone at his place of employment wanted to get a rise out of Jason and they succeeded.
Frankly, I’m a little tired of people trying to set ground rules for how the public should behave online and then acting surprised when, gosh almighty, somebody acts like a brat! The Internet public is comprised of a certain number of people who will react any way they want. Everything is up for reponse on the Internet, even pictures of kids. There are no sacred cows. Jason should get over it or stop bloging, because the “ground rules’ are there are no ground rules and everything is a rhetorical target, even if that repsonse is a doctored photograph.
But in the end, this is a workplace problem for Jason, not an Internet problem. We don’t know what Jason or his co-workers are like at his place of employment, maybe Jason’s a tyrant at work or maybe all his co-workers are sociopathic, but not responding to the picture in his blog would probably have been the best course of action.
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Jango: I see your point…kinda like when celebs get flash bulbs going off in their face….however, JP, or all of the free bloggers are not making money from these blogs. Also, I don’t have a problem with people taking me to task, or disagreeing, or even attacking me, for something I wrote. But if you do, be an adult and post your NAME. I do.
I pretty much stay away from the controversial stuff for the most part, but on the rare occasion I do delve into something like that I expect a little heat. However if I write something about , say my kids or wife, and you attack THEM….guess what, the gloves come off.
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There are no rules to online behavior. I get that. I don’t necessarily like it, but I get it and I’m okay with it or I wouldn’t blog. My blog is about my experiences as a new dad and highlights by daughter’s growth as well as mine as a parent. I think the picture on my desk definitely falls into the category of ‘experience as a new dad’ as much as a first tooth or sleeping through the night.
There were 2 main points that I was trying to convey in my posts. First (as Tony mentions), I’d prefer people disagree/take to task/attack me, not a 6 month old. It’s part of the territory and ultimately, I signed up for it. Second, was the fact that I had some regret agreeing to do the Blogger Profile. It was comfortable in my little corner of the TU blogs in the parenting section. The profile may have brought us unnecessary attention; attention that I obviously wasn’t prepared for.
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Thanks Chuck for writing about this. Some will think it’s trivial but it’s something every public blogger deals with. It’s good to remind people every once in a while that we’re humans too, not just a face behind some text.
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I would venture a guess that those readers/commenters who believe there are “no rules in the blogosphere”, would be among the loudest squeeling commenters if they were called names.
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Freddie – I might remind you there are certainly “rules” here at the Times Union blogs. Every comment posted is approved by someone at the Times Union. So the picture Jason encountered would NOT have been posted here.
Tony – I agree with you, but nothing that occured to Jason actually happened on the web. In fact, as noted above, the whole process of mederated comments prevents a psoting fo a doctored picture because the moderator would never allow it.
To be perfectly honest, I think everyone here is arguing about the wrong thing. The issue is whether the behavior of people you work with, not whether commenting in the blogoshere should or should not be a “free for all.” So, I think everyone here is chasing a red herring….fortunately, however, I like fish.
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Totally missed Jason’s posts last week…so thanks for posting this.
I think the issue is that everyone – commenters, readers, anyone – think that a blogger is fair game. It’s sad, but true, that jerks will be jerks. It’s unfortunate that someone would target a person just because they’re willing to put themselves out there. It’s disgusting that someone would use a child to get to that blogger.
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“Itโs unfortunate that someone would target a person just because theyโre willing to put themselves out there.”
I really *really* do not get that, but that’s probably cultural. I think a large amount of social media addicts function on the false premise that putting something online automatically raise its value. It doesn’t, it can still be incredibly boring or embarrassing. Nobody ever forced anyone to have a blog, especially considering how easy it is to open one nowadays. I don’t see a “willingness to put oneself out there”, I see this strange phenomenon that bloggers consider their lives to be worth putting online. Fair enough, but let’s all consider that this call might not be ours to make. The most terrible blogs out there are the ones saying, in essence: “Pleaaaaase, look at me, I really think I’m special”, but the contents and creativity behind them are just abysmal. It’s a call for attention, nothing more, nothing else, otherwise why not just keep a personal diary instead, right? With attention comes reactions and comments. Complaining about the lack of privacy or aggressive comments is hypocritical at best in my book. This is especially true for TU bloggers, who are really quick to whine about it, but strive on the captive audience that the TU platform brings to them. They would be even more miserable if they had no reaction *at all*.
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I think it’s important to remember that what we say on a blog post is one thing — but there’s so much more said/done/lived outside of a blog post.
I think it’s incredibly juvenille, disturbing and cruel what happened to Jason — but who knows if it has anything to do with anything he’s said in a blog post?
I guess, simply, my point is — just because you’re a blogger, doesn’t excuse you from anything you say/do outside of blogging. We can’t hide behind the computer any more than anyone else.
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Part II… I also can’t see someone getting all annoyed and angry with Jason enough to do something that terrible, based solely on something he wrote in his happy blog where he talks about being a proud dad and raising a daughter. It’s not like Jason writes for Crime Confidential.
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Thank you for this topic; I have been a victim of this. Some time ago a silly trip on uneven ground into a set of metal garbage cans that created much noise turned into a fall IN the garbage cans. People who were there realize the problems with the circumstances and we never thought it would go that far; but for blog traffic and to increase interest it was portrayed as more than it was and for a while it was funny. I then started getting made fun of both online and in person. Oscar the Grouch was referenced; photos of poor drunk girls in garbage cans appeared as if by magic (thanks for thinking I was skinny enough to fit in one) and garbage would appear on my desk at work, on tables when I was out with supposed friends and outlandish claims of non-existant loose behavior were mentioned. When attempts were made to correct the mistaken beliefs, a look of incredulity would wash over their face. I believe life as I know it is over and all that I hold dear is forever changed. Oh did I tell you that I’m somewhat handicapped? Yeah well, they didn’t care either and because I don’t always walk with a cane or crutches makes it difficult to convince people; I guess at this point it doesn’t matter.
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One rule I go by..wold I say this to a person’s face? I actually DON”T write a lot of my personal convictions, or even opinions in a post. I say alot more outrageous things in person than I do on here. Ypu never know who’s reading. I am still pretty new at this blog thing, so it does take a while to learn the “resonsibility” involved. It’s odd to me what people take offence with and what they don’t. I do think it’s easy for someone to hide behind afake name and blast someone….
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@Tony: “One rule I go by..would I say this to a personโs face?”
Why the double standard then? Bloggers are not speaking to my face either. Would a blogger sit down with me and bore me to death with his recent trip to the grocery store or his “incredible” experience at the coffee shop? Bloggers feel so entitled it’s comical.
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-S – I agree that bloggers put themselves out there at their own doing. I personally feel that bloggers should be polite to their readers/commenters, and I feel that should go both ways. If a person objects to a blogger’s message, they should be able to convey that in a polite, respectful way. Not agreeing with someone doesn’t give anyone an excuse to be rude or flat-out mean.
Going back to what Amanda said – it’s hard to think that anyone could object to the happy message of a parenting blog. It doesn’t really matter if this person objects to the blog or Jason personally. The fact is, the way he/she expressed it was horrible and inexcusable. That’s my objection.
The fact that Jason, or any other blogger, puts themself out there doesn’t excuse inappropriate behavior. Everyone should keep it classy.
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S- that’s exactly what I do…although some may think it’s boring, some are amused and even laugh out loud. You can always NOT read someone’s blog, if you don’t like what they do. Just like I won’t print someone’s comment, if it’s a personal attack or has nasty language. I don’t think I am entitled at all. I am flattered when some one actually takes the time to read something I wrote and respond. I realize I am not everyone’s cup of tea (I can’t imagine WHY though)…
I also try to respond in a polite manner to people’s mean spirited comments. Doesn’t always work, but I try. I like a good witty comment…the key word being witty. Mean and stupid is not acceptable. Mean and witty…ok.
poopy-head= dumb
Fecal Cranial cavity= witty ๐
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In the past couple of decades, I’ve seen one popular Albany person at a small kiddie park. I stopped, stared, and thought “Who the heck is that guy, again?” I can’t imagine even recognizing anyone else on the street.
Some blogs are more enjoyable than others, and some don’t get enough attention (I don’t know why). The “I’m so great” blogs are a turnoff (everywhere).
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@sue: “I personally feel that bloggers should be polite to their readers/commenters”, see, this is something I could discuss for a while. I do not think the act of blogging is neutral at all, but that’s just me. As I said, for me, most “personal” blogs (as opposed to “technical blogs”) are a call for attention. Putting something online already means you think you are a bit special. Granted, it’s not a zero-sum game, but usually I read a blog (especially the hyper-local ones) with the following in mind: “alright, you put that online, now let’s see if it is really worth it”. If the content is blatantly bad or exploitative, believe me, I don’t feel you were polite to me at all. Does that make sense?
As Tony pointed out, you can always not read someone’s blog, but hyperlocal blogs are special in that it’s small world and there is a lot of cross linking going on. You end up bumping into the same blogs and realize you can poke your own eyes out only so many times…
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