I don’t care. I’ve had a rough few days, nothing’s worked out the way I wanted it to, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m gonna have me some beer.
All I need to do is go get a can of…
Of…
Oh man… I didn’t realize that as a teetotaler, I have absolutely no idea which beer to start getting “faced” with.
Maybe these vintage television commercials will help my cause.
I know… I’ll have a can of SCHAEFER. It was brewed in Albany at one time, and it’s the one beer to have when you’re having more than one. Remember?
Or maybe I’ll down a bottle of BALLANTINE Ale. Especially when that fair maiden sings that sultry stanza and caresses that longneck oh so seductively…
Maybe I’ll just shout “Mabel! Black Label!” and get a CARLING BLACK LABEL beer.
Of course if I was a true New Yorker, I would slam back a can of RHEINGOLD beer. Just like a good beer drinker should.
Maybe I’m going about this the wrong way. Maybe I need a national brand. Like a good can of SCHLITZ. I gotta go for the gusto.
Or maybe I’ll get my friends together and we can kick back a few cans of OLD MILWAUKEE beer. It doesn’t get any better than this.
Nah. I’ll go back to the regional brews. Especially this tasty treat that’s the pride of Baltimore, NATIONAL BEER.
Or maybe I’ll get “shot” up with a can or two of FALSTAFF BEER.
Nah… maybe I’ll just go to the land of sky blue waters and drink a can of HAMM’S beer. Look, if I gotta deal with a dancing bear on a spinning water log, you think a can of beer would change that?
And if the beer steins and mugs are talking to me, then it’s time for a UTICA CLUB. Bartender! Brew me no brew with artificial bubbles, those carbonated brews of today…
You know what… after all that… I think I’ll just go get a Diet Coke and call it a night.
Chuck The Writer 
Love these.. I grew up above, and working in, my Dad’s corner grocery store. I so remember all the regional beers.. and all the promotional goodies we’d get from the delivery guys.
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What do Milwaukee’s best and beer jokes have in common? Their relevant but flat and disappointing
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You neglected to mention Genny which is what most of us started with,,,but you should probably stick to A&W.
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Holy Batgirl, it’s Yvonne Craig and Genny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdvRg2YhmcY
I’d follow her anywhere.
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Has anyone ever said that you look like Bubbles from Trailer park boys?
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The Carling commercial brings back memories of Mr. Roberts, who lived across the street from us in Norwood MA. He worked at the Carling brewery in Natick. He could bring home 2 cases per workday, yet he came home empty-handed each day, and insisted on drinking my Dad’s Miller High Life. As a result, I’ve never been able to consider Carling ‘beer’. I was only 5 at the time, but even I could recognize something was wrong.
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