Madonna’s Set List for the Halftime Entertainment of Super Bowl XLIV

Ah, the announcement that everybody’s favorite Material Girl, Ms. Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Penn Ritchie, will be providing the halftime entertainment at Super Bowl 46 in February 2012 at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis.

Of course, thanks to a bit of detective work (and knowing a few friends over in Indy that used to be booster club members for the Indianapolis Ice minor league hockey team), I was able to snag some preliminary choices for Madonna’s halftime Super Bowl performance.  Figure that she’s only going to have enough time to perform five to six songs, and it’s probably also going to depend on which two football teams are going to make it to the Big Game.

So I’m going through the list, and here’s what would be perfect choices for Madonna’s set list, depending on what’s going on with the NFL at this point in time.

• “Everybody” – An apt description for who can beat the Cincinnati Bengals.
• “Burning Up” – Tony Sporano’s blood pressure after Miami loses another game.
• “Holiday” – what Terrell Owens is experiencing right now instead of playing football.
• “Lucky Star” – Aaron Rodgers, as far as this Pittsburgh Steelers fan is concerned.
• “Borderline” – The test Michael Vick has to take every time he gets concussed.
• “Like a Virgin” – Tyrelle Pryor’s playing career.
• “Material Girl” – Isn’t that another name for Mrs. Tom Brady?
• “Crazy for You” – How Giants fans feel about Eli Manning.
• “Angel” – how the Detroit Lions feel about Matthew Stafford.
• “Into the Groove” – The ability for Cris Collinsworth to spout off the same seven or eight catchphrases in a single NFL game.
• “Dress You Up” – Another term for what Steve Smith does to the defense.
• “Gambler” – any time Al Davis enters an NFL draft room.
• “Live to Tell”  – how very few running backs feel after being introduced to Ndamukong Suh.
• “Papa Don’t Preach” – Rex Ryan’s response whenever Buddy calls him to offer coaching advice.
• “True Blue” – Surprisingly, this is not the New York Giants’ fight song.  Maybe it should be.
• “Open Your Heart” – Otherwise known as James Harrison performing surgery on unsuspecting wide receivers.
• “La Isla Bonita” – the new name for the proposed NFL franchise in Mexico City.  Don’t laugh.  Mexico City’s going to get an NFL team before Los Angeles does.
• “Who’s That Girl” – you mean the one in the pink Cowboys #9 jersey?  That was Jessica Simpson.  Man, you’re behind the times.
• “Causing a Commotion”  – what happens when you ask a Buffalo Bills fan about how much coverage the Times Union gives their team.
• “Like a Prayer” – what receivers do any time Matt Schaub throws the ball.
• “Express Yourself” – Chad Ochocinco’s theme song.
• “This Used to Be My Playground”  – said by fans of the old Giants Stadium.
• “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” – The sentiment why Jay Cutler still gets to throw a football and draw a paycheck.
• “Frozen” – The temperature at a Lambeau Field game.  Doesn’t matter if it’s preseason or postseason.
• “Ray of Light” – When Ray Lewis throws you to the ground, that light you see may be the Lord calling you to the afterlife.
• “The Power of Good-Bye”  – Brett Favre uses this every year.
• “Beautiful Stranger” – How Broncos fans feel about Tim Tebow.
• “Die Another Day” – any time the Kansas City Chiefs take the field.
• “Hung Up” – another Tony Romo pass.  Eventually it will be caught by someone in another uniform.
• “Give It 2 Me” – what will happen to the ball once Peyton Manning gets healthy.

Anybody else have a Madonna-themed song that would be perfectly tuned to something going on in the current NFL season?  Post it in the comments section.