It’s customary on Mother’s Day to remember those who gave birth to us, those who nursed us and weaned us and drove us to every Little League and AYSO event. The ones who were there in the audience when we graduated from school; the ones who were in the church saying, “That’s my boy up there – and what a fine girl he’s marrying.”
It’s important to honor those mothers – buying them candy and cards, taking them out to dinner and placing flowers on their gravestone. And it makes for a great and poignant Hallmark moment.
But on this day, if for no other reason than we should, I want to take a second and honor a special group of mothers.
They are the women who, when a young lost soul is trapped in the muck of Child Protective Services and the birth mother is deemed unfit to raise anything more complicated than a dandelion, these women step up and say, “This poor child needs loving parents. My husband and I are able to take a child into our family. Please consider us. Let us be the parent you need.”
They are the women who assist at the day care centers and volunteer at the church organizations; the ones who have no son or daughter of their own, but who are more than happy to help families in need. They offer guidance to young families, they share their experiences and hope and commitment.
They are surrogates and foster mothers and adoptive mothers. They may not have been there at your birth… but they have been with you throughout your life.
Many of us count on these women as much as we count on sunshine. And they should receive just as many flowers and candies and “Hi, thinking of you and missing you” phone calls on this day.
Because on Mother’s Day… when you do feel like you’re a motherless child…
You aren’t as alone as you thought you were.
Chuck The Writer 
Hello Chuck,
Thank you for that moving version of Sometimes I feel like a Motherless Child, sung by Kathleen Emery. It’s one of my favorite songs and her version is unusual and richly musical.
Now that I’ve read your most recent article “The Ripscale” I understand this article much better. It was refreshing to read your emphasis on more than biological mothers. Your choices of women to honor made a lot of sense to me.
Missing a mom is a difficult thing to deal with. My own mother died in 1978. I often think of her and wonder what she would have said about the many issues and discoveries in my own life and what else she would have accomplished if her remarkable life had been longer.
As a member of Women Against War and Grannies for Peace I’d like to add that maternal concern for the well being of all the children of the world is another aspect of motherhood’s nurturing aspects. Such work also forms a bond between women that supports them in all areas of their lives and allows for passion and creativity in the service of others.
Being a mother myself, and also a person who has worked with hundreds of children I found your perspective a welcome one — and a creative look at what can become a trite and cliched topic.
It’s nice that your own struggles and steps towards healing from grief have benefited other readers, which is what I think the best blogs are all about.
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