“The Rise and Return” – an Amish Mafia sequel?


A few years ago, I had fun doing a snark-filled episode review of the Discovery Channel fake-reality TV series Amish Mafia.  The show purported to pull back the curtain on the secret culture of Amish and Mennonites in South Central Pennsylvania.  For four seasons, we watched the wacky adventures of Lebanon Levi King Stoltzfus and his band of enforcers – Jolin Zimmerman the moody Mennonite, Alvin Lentz the soft-spoken explosives expert; Caleb Isaac Meyer the burly Brethren, and their battles against other Amish groups and against the English and against the cops.

Yeah, it was fun.  It was fun watching the show’s absurdity and wackiness, while all the time trying to figure out whether the show was some sort of weird satire or if the producers actually believed this kind of stuff was going on.

When the show ended in 2015, I kinda missed reviewing it.  It was just that wacky.  There was some talk about a new season for the show, but I knew the program was dead.  Dead like the flies that gorged themselves on three-month-old shoo-fly pie.

That was in 2015.

This is now 2016.

And someone sent me this link.

Holy crap, I know that face.  I know that voice.  That’s Esther Freeman Schmucker, one of the stars of the first three seasons of Amish Mafia!

And what am I seeing – is this Esther getting out of a white Cadillac, Esther wearing English clothing, Esther changing into Plain Folk finery, Esther speaking Pennsylvania Dutch one more time?

And then … this image from Esther’s Facebook page.  Yeah, she’s Amish and she has a Facebook page.  No, I don’t know if she accesses the Internet from a dial-up modem or not.

And here’s another image, showing that dichotomy that Esther walked through the first three seasons of the show.

Hokey smokes and artichokes.

So the show is coming back.  Under a new name, and supposedly under a new production company.

This could be very interesting.  And yeah, I’d be curious to see when and where the new program will air.  Because the minute I find out there’s an airdate and a start time and an episode guide…

I’m going to be on this show like crazy violins on an Amish Mafia soundtrack.