The hecklers who attacked Ryan Lochte on Dancing With The Stars were…

I don’t normally watch Dancing With The Stars, despite the successful appearance of several members of the Pittsburgh Steelers on the show.  In fact, I had a better time watching Antonio Brown, DeAngelo Williams and Ryan Shazier completely demolish the Washington Redskins 38-16 last night.

That being said, I woke up this morning and saw some interesting news reports regarding the live broadcast of Dancing With The Stars – apparently Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte is one of the celebrity dancers on this season’s show, and he performed some sort of foxtrot with partner Cheryl Burke.

Here’s an uploaded clip of Lochte’s performance.

At around 3:40 of this clip, judge Carrie Ann Inaba is giving her critique of Lochte’s performance, when all of a sudden she starts shouting at the stage.  Apparently some audience members decided to bum-rush the stage and attack the Olympic medalist.  The show quickly cut to a commercial.  When the show returned from break, host Tom Bergeron interviewed Cheryl Burke and Ryan Lochte, but it was evident that both performers were quite shaken from the experience.

Here’s a cell phone camera clip of security members removing the offending parties from the stage.

According to official reports, the two men arrested were Sam Sododeh, 48, and Barzeen Soroudi, 40, both of Los Angeles.  According to ESPN, both men were wearing anti-Lochte T-shirts, and bum-rushed the stage to protest Lochte’s appearance on the popular broadcast.

That’s the official report.  But see, here’s the thing.  I know exactly who those two men were who attacked Ryan Lochte on the Dancing With The Stars stage.

I mean, isn’t it obvious?

They were members of the Brazilian Police Force.  They traveled all the way from Rio de Janeiro to give their statement.

It’s true, it’s true.

They were brought on stage for a special Olympic-themed presentation on Dancing With The Stars, when all of a sudden Ryan Lochte pulls a gun on them and demands all their money.  One of the police members immediately hands over the contents of his wallet, while the second one simply tries to fight Lochte off.  Lochte then puts the gun at the police officer’s head, and threatens to kill him.  Immediately the second officer thought better of the situation, and gave up his money and cell phone to Lochte.

Right?  Right?  It’s true, right?  It’s not like there were any gas stations and late night alcohol-fueled bladder control issues going on…

I mean, if you can’t trust an Olympic swimmer, who can you trust?