The Gift in Three Speeds

Trust me, I was NOT expecting this.  Not in the slightest.

I received a Facebook message from my friend Tim – he’s the captain of the Stir Crazy trivia team upon which we won the 2017 World Tavern Trivia championship.  Tim and his friends have dominated Hudson Valley trivia competitions, so I figured he was contacting me about an upcoming trivia event.

“What’s your address?” he asked me.  “I have a birthday gift for you.”

Hmm.   Birthday gift.  I figured that would involve a birthday card or a gag gift or something funky and artisinal.

I wasn’t expecting this.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.


In 2010, I had just moved to my apartment in the Town and Village of Green Island.  My divorce was in the final stages of completion, and I was living on a very tight budget.

So tight, in fact, that at one point in time, I sold my phonograph turntable – a customized Technics SL-1200 MK2 that was modified to play 78’s in addition to 45’s and LP’s.  Look, it’s either groove to the music or eat food.  And just because the album says “Hot Tuna,” doesn’t mean that it’s made with Chicken of the Sea.

I still had a record collection, don’t get me wrong, but it was on a much smaller scale than the thousands of LP’s and 45’s I possessed during my marriage.  Much of that vinyl was either sold off or donated in a personal purge.  I only kept what meant the most to me.

So when I got home last night, I saw the shipping box on my front porch.  Hmm… I thought I received all my eBay purchases, did I order something and completely forget about it?

Then I saw the return address on the box.  It was something from Tim.

Big package.  This ought to be interesting.

Inside the package – was what appeared to be a valise.

Okay… not sure what’s going on here… maybe Tim thinks I should open an insurance business, travel door to door, perhaps there’s samples inside, like what a Fuller Brush Man would sell in his travels that might possibly involve a farmer’s daughter…

And then I opened the valise.

Oh my God.

There’s a turntable inside!

Apparently this is a Verdict portable turntable that can integrate with Bluetooth technology – and which can play the three major phonograph speeds!

It’s a throwback to the super-cool GE Wildcat four-speed dropchanger I had as a kid – but it’s been totally upgraded with new technology!

How freakin’ cool is this?

Let me answer that question.  It’s WAY FREAKIN’ COOL!

Much thanks Tim, I can’t wait to charge the unit’s batteries and get some classic music back on the turntable!

Wow.  This totally rocks.

And you know I’m going to have some fun with this!