Oh man, I’m feeling the need for a beef stew in my mini crock pot. Got all the ingredients – a pound of diced stew beef, diced onions, diced onions, diced potato, the diced McCormick seasoning packet …
All I need now is a cup and a third of water, and let’s make this percolate for four hours.
Hmm. Sink drain’s running slow.
Okay, get the plunger and make things happen, Chuck.
Plunge plunge plunge …
Hmm. Clog’s still there.
Okay, what are my options?
- Call the landlord and have him come over on a Sunday to fix the sink.
- Call a plumber and have him come over at weekend rates to fix the sink.
- Use my bathroom sink for dishes and whatnot.
And in the end, I chose Option D.
Option D meant – fix the damn sink yourself, Chuck. Figure it out. It’s a kitchen sink, it’s not rocket science.
Trip to the store. Two bottles of Liquid Plumr. One to unclog the drain and another in case I need to unclog the drain again.
Product says it works in 15 minutes.
30 minutes later … still clogged.
Okay, pour in the other bottle.
One hour later … nothing.
Another trip to the store. Another bottle of Liquid Plumr and a couple of hand plungers (this is a two-basin kitchen sink, mind you).
I used the hand plungers. Nothing. One of them broke. That’s what happens when you buy a cheap plastic $2 hand plunger.
I fetched a bucket and put it under the sink. Looks like Chuck’s got to go in and plumb away.
I looked at the pipes. They’re PVC plastic and they’re attached with round plastic brackets. I’m probably fumbling the plumbing nomenclature, but I don’t have time right now to look all this stuff up. They’re round plastic brackets, get used to it.
Okay. Let’s loosen one of them – and I loosened the pipe that causes water to exit to the wall outside.
Hmm. No spillage.
So most likely the problem’s in the bend.
I disconnected the bend.
Gusher of water. The bucket barely held it all.
And then I found the issue. Apparently there were the remnants of powdered mashed potatoes in the bend. Which WERE powdered at one point in time, but eventually it turned into real mashed potatoes – and in that, it became a thick, goopy mashed potato clog. Which apparently Liquid Plumr can’t unclog. Nertz.
After cleaning out the bend as best as I could – and cleaning the straight pipe to the bend, because that looked kinda grody to the max – I carefully reassembled all the pipes and tightened all the brackets. Remember, kids – lefty loosey, righty tighty.
Then I washed my hands in the bathroom sink, because during this procedure my hands were most likely submerged in standing water that was fortified with gelatinous Liquid Plumr. And the directions say to wash your hands if you get Liquid Plumr all over them. And the fact that I’m using the proper nomenclature for this drain cleaning product means my brain-o hasn’t completely melted on Drano.
O … kay.
Water drained down the sink like a river flowing to the delta. I checked under the sink. No leaks, no rumbles, no wet spots, no cracks.
And trust me, no cracks about whether my jeans exposed a plumber’s crack.
Whew. I repaired my kitchen sink. Parts and labor – a couple of bottles of Liquid Plumr, a couple of hand plungers, assorted other things … maybe $25 total. And I’ll pay myself in labor costs.
This is good. Rather than kvetch and moan and gripe about a problem … I rolled up my sleeves and I fixed it.
And I’ll still have plenty of time to eat my delicious beef stew. This time with a side order of egg noodles, because the last time I posted pictures online of my beef stew creation, several people griped that I didn’t at least add egg noodles to the dinner plate.
Mmm … tasty.
So all in all, I can now claim that I fixed a sink and didn’t make a mess of it.
If I can fix the rest of my life the way I fixed a kitchen sink’s plugged drain … maybe my life would work out after all.