I cannot believe I’m actually blogging about this.
But it’s too funny to pass up.
So, in Yelm, Washington, somewhere near Olympia and an hour’s drive south of Seattle, a man was arrested after a fight in a Walmart parking lot. He insisted that he had been attacked by the “Lesbian Mafia,” who had conscripted his girlfriend to join them.
No, there are no references to Penny Pax or Mia Khalifa in this story.
I mean, here’s three paragraphs from the article.
Okay, I’m confused. Shouldn’t this be reported in the Penthouse Forum, and start with the words “Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me…”
But seriously… the Lesbian Mafia?
And mind you, this is coming from someone who spent four years recapping episodes of Amish Mafia.
So, pray tell, what would actually constitute a “Lesbian Mafia”? Do they sit around and have coffee klatches about their favorite character on Orange is the New Black? Are they of the belief that Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” was actually a song about how Dolly wanted Jolene for herself?
And for that matter … what the hell is going on in Yelm, Washington? I mean, right off the bat, you’ve got the stupidest name for a town I’ve ever heard – Yelm – it’s like you’re trying to say one thing and it’s coming out another. Then I find out that Yelm was originally known as Shelm, so you’re taking one silly name and replacing it with another. Gotcha.
But come on … a Lesbian Mafia? Seriously?
I got nothing here. This is on you, Yelm, Washington.