By now, you’ve probably seen the video. But if you haven’t … here it is.
It’s an average day at an Ohio mini-mart. One person just wants to buy a couple of items and go on his way. Another person (whom we will call “Jackass” decided to show off some liquid courage, and started shouting racial epithets to whoever would hear him.
Jackass starts calling that customer the N-word, inbetween calling him a clown. Next thing you know, after a few extra shouts of the N-word in his ears, that customer gripped a can of Twisted Tea, an alcoholic beverage that could charitably be called spiked iced tea. Jackass sees this and actually dares the customer to hit him with the can. A few more taunts. And then, that’s all he can stands, he can’t stands no more.
And boom. World Star Hip Hop is on the air.
Took him down like Nate Robinson in a prize fight. And then, once Jackass was on the ground, the angry customer swapped out a Twisted Tea for a Fisted T, and punched Jackass into the middle of next month.
All captured on camera.
So … after the video went viral … as what normally happens with video like this … the next thing that circulated around the internet were the memes. People taking the video and editing it to popular tracks of sorts.
Let’s put it this way. I’ve never enjoyed Dave Matthews Band more than this.
Hey, here’s a version where the can gets smashed into Jackass’s brain, to the beat of Phil Collins’ “In The Air Tonight.” I’m good with this.
Before long, you could make a Twisted Tea commercial out of this viral video.
And someone did.
And probably because you really couldn’t sync it up with “Bohemian Rhapsody,” this will have to suffice.
Oh sweet Lord, there’s a version that incorporates the Friends theme song.
And if you remember your classic rock and roll from the early 1980’s…
Ha ha, here’s one where the Twisted Tea guy is busting open the head of ANOTHER jackass.
Don’t call it a comeback!!
I’ve heard that Twisted Tea will bring you closer to God.
Okay, now do Uptown Funk! Do Uptown Funk!!
Okay, now do Michael Jackson! Do Michael Jackson!!
Now do Gwen Stefani!! Please do Gwen Stefani!!!
Hey look, it’s video from a vintage 1980’s video game!
Trust me, if I had the time, I’d make a Twisted Tea meme with Jim Ross calling the action. “BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD, WOULD SOMEONE STOP THE DAMN MATCH! AS GAWD IZ MAH WITNESS, HE BROKE HIM IN HALF!!”
So yeah, if 2020 has to end, let it end with a Twisted Tea can to the noggin.
Hey, at least it’s not a can of Four Loko…
Chuck The Writer 
“Ants Marching” seems so right. That dimwit got exactly what was coming to him!
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Notice the Trumpzi is not wearing a mask.
The downside here being that the ‘good guy’ will get charged with assault and probably go to jail.
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Kudos to the can wielder for calmly enduring the nitwit’s name-calling, for as long as he did.
And IMHO, he was well within his rights to respond…in-kind.
But WTF?!
After 71 trips around the sun, I never thought I’d see the day when felony physical assault with a “dangerous instrument” (weapon) would be condoned, and even glorified, as a justifiable response to verbal assault.
Words.
(If not for plain dumb luck, the ruptured can could have slashed the idiot’s neck, leaving him bleeding out on the store floor. Tune selection would be a bit more challenging if a pool of blood and a possible second degree murder charge were involved.)
Unfortunately, a word comes to mind which seems to fit here somewhere:
Microcosm definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary (collinsdictionary.com)
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