By: Chuck Miller
Football

Hey, Najee Harris, welcome to the Steelers! Double Yoi!!

As a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, last year’s season was a heartbreaker. The team starts out with an 11-0 win-loss record, and then proceeds to puke up the rest of the season – and loses a playoff game to the (scuse me, I’m going to retch) Cleveland Browns. Ugh. And then afterward, the team loses running back James Conner to the Arizona Cardinals, we lose Markise Pouncey to retirement, and I’m thinking that the 2021 NFL season would be a (dare I say it) rebuild year for the Steelers.

No. They don’t rebuild. They reload. The quarterback restructured his contract so the team could free up some salary cap space. Wide receiver Juju Smith-Schuster re-signed with the Black and Gold for a one-year deal. And we still have Chase Claypool and two-thirds of the Watt family and Minkah Fitzpatrick and a whole lot of other weapons.

But we need a running back. A good, solid running back with a lot of heart. The Steelers are known for having big, tough running backs. Franco Harris. Jerome Bettis. Le’Veon Bell. And as good as Benny Snell is right now, he’s not the answer. And as good as Ray-Ray McCloud is, he’s better on special teams and kickoff returns.

No. We need an amazing running back who has overcome adversity. A total blue collar lunchpail-to-work running back for a lunchpail-to-work football city.

Holy crap, look who we picked up in the draft.

We snagged Najee Harris? How in the name of soul of Myron Cope did we get Najee Harris? Were 23 other teams taking naps during the draft? Seriously?

Running backs are prized possessions in the National Football League. And if you can get one that has the skillset and hurdling abilities as Najee Harris … you sign him like you have $20 million in the lottery and 20 minutes to spend it.

Look what this man can do. #22 for Alabama. He can throw the stiffarm, he can hurdle the defender, I haven’t seen moves like this since the last time I played Tecmo Ball as Bo Jackson.

And get this. Najee Harris has such a wonderful backstory. He knew hard times as a kid, when he and his mother lived in a homeless shelter for a time. And on draft day 2021, he threw a party for the kids in that very same homeless shelter. How far this man has come.

Now the Steelers need to shore up that offensive line. I don’t want to lose Najee Harris’ running style to a two-yards-per-carry average because the O-line has less protection than a lace condom. But man, if you can pick up a guy who runs like Derrick Henry and hurdles like Edwin Moses, and he’s right there in the draft …

Okay. Najee Harris, welcome to Pittsburgh. Have a Primanti Bros. sandwich on the Strip. Go visit Kennywood Park a dozen times. And just remember … Pittsburgh is to Cleveland, as Alabama is to Auburn.

Because the Cleveland Clowns got lucky last year. They need to understand that there are only three things that are certain in life – death, taxes, and the Steelers dominating the Cleveland Browns. And that goes for you too, Baltimore and Cleveland and the Patriots and the Packers and the Jets and the Bills and the Washington Wiffleball Team and all the rest.

The Pittsburgh Steelers do NOT rebuild.

We reload.

Double Yoi.