My Thanksgiving Drive for Equinox, 2021 Edition

Ready to go. Ready to deliver for Equinox. Ready to bring Thanksgiving deliciousness to as many families as I can.

I pulled up to the load-in spot on Central Avenue.

“You’re a little early, Chuck,” one of the organizers smiled.

“Earlier I pick up, earlier the food gets delivered,” I smiled back. “How many meals am I taking?”

She pointed to the table. It was filled with turkey dinners and Table Talk pies. “All of this.”

Oh. Okay. As long as I can fit all those meals into my car, we’re good to go. Where am I going?

She handed me a piece of paper. “Five drop-offs in Troy, two in Cohoes.”

Oh, you mean I’m not doing the hill towns and the rural areas this year? Okay . I can handle this. All right, let’s load Dracourage up with every available meal possible.

29 turkey dinners. 29 Table Talk pumpkin pies. One driver and a bunch of holiday music.

I pressed the blue button on my OnStar device, and gave them the first address. Simple enough. All I need to do is drive to Troy.

And as I exited I-787 to reach Troy, I discovered … my route to my first meal dropoff was blocked.


Apparently there’s this thing called the Troy Turkey Trot, a race throughout downtown Troy. Most of the access roads were blocked off. OnStar kept telling me to drive forward. What, you think I want to recreate what happened in Wisconsin the other day? Hells, no.

I basically took the long way around Troy. Made the first few drop-offs.

My plan is to always call ahead. Make sure the recipient knows that I have their dinners, and can meet me at the door. And yes, I’m wearing a face mask and being as COVID-compliant as possible.

Three spots delivered. Arrive at the fourth spot. Call. Person is there, will meet me at the door.

I get their dinners out of the car. Person calls back. “You’re not here.”

“Yes, I am. Red Chevrolet. I have your dinners.”

“What street are you on?”

“Ninth Street.”

“I’m on 11th Street.”

Oops. I called Destination #5 when I meant to call Destination #4. We had a good laugh, I promised that I did have their food and would bring it instantaneously.

All five Troy deliveries done. Now for Cohoes.

First drop-off – no problem. Food delivered.

Final dropoff is on Remsen Street. It’s a whopping eight turkey dinners. Luckily, I saved the shipping box and all the dinners are inside. And I still had the box for the Table Talk pumpkin pies. So all I needed to do was bring two boxes to the front door.

I call the recipient.

No answer.


Okay. I arrive at the building. It’s an apartment complex. I ring a doorbell. No answer.


Okay. I just have to find the proper apartment, knock on the door, and hope that the person will answer.

Wait. Why don’t any of these apartment doors have apartment numbers on them?

I took a chance. Knocked on one door.

“Who’s there?”

“Hi, I’m looking for someone who ordered some turkey dinners for delivery today.”

“Ain’t nobody ordered any dinners here.”


Okay, let’s try the next floor. Nothing like trying to haul eight turkey dinners and eight Table Talk pies up a winding staircase in a barely lit apartment building.

Finally found the recipient’s apartment number. Knocked on the door.


One more try.


Ugh. I know the rule. If the party isn’t home to get their meals, I can’t leave the food at the door. That’s not sanitary and it’s not safe. I was already thinking of other options for these meals – a church nearby, or anything.

Okay, back to the winding staircase.

Then, in an instant … I heard a doorknob twist.

The apartment door opened, and a man peeked out. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. “You with Equinox?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Those my dinners in your hand?”

“Here you go,” I said to him, handing him the boxes.

Delivery complete.

And another Thanksgiving tradition completed.

This was actually the most number of total dinners I’ve ever delivered in one trip. Also, it’s the most destinations I’ve hit in one trip, and the farthest distance between two destination cities since the time I drew a roadtrip of Nassau and Cropseyville in one pull. In the dead of a snowstorm.

But still, the end result is that 29 different people received Thanksgiving meals on Thanksgiving Day, and in the end, that’s the entire gist of this trip.

Mission accomplished.

Yeah, that feels good.

And no Turkey Trot participants were harmed in the completion of this mission. So there’s that.