Last week I blogged about some movies with strangely shared universes, whether it involved specific syndicates (the King Features Syndicated Universe in Popeye Meets the Man Who Hated Laughter) or who appear on a television network (the Adult Swim 25th anniversary special that will operate as a standalone episode of Robot Chicken).
But now I must show you the wackiest shared universe ever captured on film. And trust me, this film puts the “exploit” in exploitation.
Bruce Lee’s acting appeal was both instantaneous and brief. When he passed away in 1973, his fans were shocked and stricken with tremendous grief. So much so, in fact, that many movie studios produced quickie films to capitalize on Bruce Lee’s life and legacy – despite barely possesing enough frames of film to qualify has a true Bruce Lee vehicle. Some films cribbed scenes from Lee’s childhood as an early youth actor, while others tried to create full-length movies from the 1960’s Green Hornet TV series that featured Bruce Lee’s Kato character in the lead role.
And if you didn’t have a true Bruce Lee, you could get someone who looked reasonably similar (probably operating under the mentality that all Chinese look alike) and call this person Bruce Li or Bruce Le, and name the film “Hands of the Dragon” or “Return of the Dragon” or “The Dragon Lives.” Trust me, there’s a whole subgenre of “Brucesploitation” films out there, and they follow this template.
Then you get this gem. “The Dragon Lives Again.” Starring Bruce Leung. Hey, the name’s close enough …
So this 1977 chop-socky Brucesploitation gem features “Bruce” dying and reappearing in the underworld. He meets Clint Eastwood’s “Man With No Name” character from the Sergio Leone films, an early iteration of James Bond, David Carradine as Kwai Chang Caine from the Kung Fu TV series, and Popeye the Sailor (yes, Popeye the Sailor is here, if he had just varied his vegetable diet and laid off so much spinach, he would have lived). He also runs into an epic battle with and against several other characters, including the Exorcist, the Godfather, Dracula, and softcore porn actress Emanuelle.
This sounds like something an AI program with a hangover would create. And this movie is completely over the top.
But there’s one scene in this film that deserves preservation forever. Work with me here. Bruce and his allies must defeat Dracula. And you can tell this film is made on the cheap – the costumer probably raided a Spirit Halloween store for Dracula’s fangs and cape. Meanwhile, Bruce (dressed as Kato from The Green Hornet) is battling what look like leftover Putties from a Power Rangers cosplay. But just watch as Dracula gets close to victory in their battle … only to discover that Bruce has some previously undisclosed fighting skills.
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Oh my God why has nobody ever created a rock band called The Third Leg of Bruce? It would be hilarious!!
Yeah, this is freakin’ funny as anything. It’s like someone decided to take every Nicolas Cage character, throw them into one single film, and then have a bunch of Comic-Con attendees play all the roles, with the lead taken by “Nikolas Kache” or something like that.
The only way this film could be any better is if Tom Servo and Crow T Robot were in the lower right corner and riffing on this film’s total absurdity. Or maybe running commentary from Beavis and Butthead. And now you can hear those two goofs giggling in the background. You’re welcome.
Man, if the real Bruce Lee could see this film … he would most certainly die laughing. Just complete silliness all around.
Chuck The Writer 