Bachelor Cooking: Pork Chops and Cheezy Smashed Potatoes

In the past, I’ve talked about my Bachelor Cooking recipes with equal amounts of humor and ingenuity.

This one, however, is different.

My girlfriend Suzanne is coming over to my place to watch the Pittsburgh Steelers game, and I want to cook her a decent meal. And by “cook,” I do not mean dialing up Uber Eats. I have to do this right.

Okay. This means making this work and making this work flawlessly. I don’t have to be Gordon Ramsay or Julia Child, all I need to do is make a decent meal with a protein, a starch, and some vegetables.

All right. Let’s make this happen.

First, I need the protein.

Ingredients –

• Boneless pork chops
• Salt and pepper
• Olive Oil
• Kosher salt (every meal needs kosher salt)

Pour some olive oil in the skillet. While the oil heats up, take the pork chops out of the fridge (yes, it helps to buy them the day before), and pat them down with a paper towel. Lightly add salt and pepper to both sides of the chop. You could also add onion powder, garlic powder, maybe some adobo, but don’t overdo it.

Carefully layer the chops into the pan. Lid the pan. Four minutes on each side. Take chops out and let them rest for two minutes.

Okay. Now for the starch.

Ingredients –

• Baby potatoes
• Shredded cheese
• Olive oil
• Salt and pepper
• Kosher salt (every meal needs kosher salt)

In a pan with boiling water, drop the baby potatoes in. Boil for 15 minutes.

Place some shredded cheese on a baking sheet. Drizzle with some olive oil.

Scoop out the potatoes and place them on the cooking sheet.

Flatten each baby potato by draping a piece of parchment paper over the top of each spud, then smashing it down with a flat edge (a can of vegetables works really well). Add some salt and pepper, maybe some garlic powder or onion powder if you wish. Drizzle with a light coating of olive oil. Add some more shredded cheese on top.

In the oven at 425 degrees for 15 minutes. This will give you nice, crispy potatoes.

Okay, now for the vegetables.

• One can of green beans
• Kosher salt (every recipe needs kosher salt)

Take the pot that you used for the baby potatoes, wash it out, then place it back on the stove. Using a can opener, open the can of green beans and dump them into the pot. Heat for about five minutes on medium-low heat. Strain.

Put the kosher salt back in the cupboard.

And then … three-course meal.

Suffice it to say … Suzanne loved the dinner. Which made me very happy. Especially after the football game, when the Patriots squeaked by the Steelers 20-3 (at this point in time, I wouldn’t trust DK Metcalf with a bag of groceries, let alone to catch a football when needed).

But yeah … I was glad she liked dinner. And dinner didn’t involve a phone call to cover up for any deficiencies in my cooking abilities. A man should be able to provide a sustainable meal for his special guest.

This is important, especially when cultivating a relationship.

And I’ll take that every day of the week.