“We’re not gay, just in case you were wondering.”

A couple of weeks ago, I was working on a project and I had to contact an old friend for an interview.  We set up a time to talk, I would call that evening on her home phone land line for the interview.  I called that night.  No answer.

I contacted her the next day.  “I was home,” she said.  “I waited for your call.”

“That’s odd,” I replied.  “I dialed your number all night.”

I then recited the number that had always been her home telephone number.

“Oh,” she responded.  “That’s my old number.  I’ve been living with my friend Linda for a while now.”

“Sorry,” I replied.  “I had no idea that you moved.”

“It’s convenient for us, we can eat dinner together.  Oh, and we’re not gay, just in case you were wondering why we were living together in the first place.”

Oh.  I wasn’t wondering… but…

The fact that she even felt the need to say this to me, as if it was some sort of required clarification, bothered me.  Would I think any differently of her if she was gay?  No.  Would I think any differently of her if she wasn’t gay?  No.  Do I care whether she or anybody else is gay or straight?  No.

No, it doesn’t bother me if someone is gay or not.  Why should it?

What DOES bothers me – and still does, to this day – is that people will make snap judgments or prejudicial suppositions on what a person does if that person is gay.  And most often, the suppositions range from the nonsensical to the vulgar.

It’s the same twisted, screwed-up rationale that make people assume that Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street are gay.  Or that Peppermint Patty and Marcie from the Peanuts comic strip are lesbians.  Or that Felix Ungar and Oscar Madison from The Odd Couple are gay.

Enough already.

What bothers me even more is that when people make a determination as to a person’s sexual preference or orientation, that determination or perception could be tied to discrimination or homophobia.  I’ve used this term in my blog before – homo inferiorus – the sick idea that someone would think that a gay person was inferior to a straight person.  That’s inferior, all right – inferior thinking, that is.

And trust me, there are still people in this world who will hide behind a computer monitor and call someone a queer or a homo or a faggot, hoping that a mixture of monitor anonymity will keep anyone from calling them out on their hateful, bigoted actions.  And if someone is perceived as gay – even if they are or aren’t, we’re just talking “perceived” – that person often gets treated with utter contempt and ridicule.

The fact that we’ve even come to this point in our culture is just every level of sad.

Maybe at some point when we fill out applications for jobs, or for credit cards, or for anything that has a little slot that asks the question of “race” – in that box, we should simply write “human.”  And leave it at that.

Because there’s no reason to ask if someone is gay or straight.

Maybe I’m just wishing that we could once again refer to being “gay” as being happy, being in the 1890’s, or that your first name is Marvin.

Wishful thinking, I guess.