Last August, I wrote a blog post about how DePaula Chevrolet still thinks that I own my 2005 Saturn Ion “Cardachrome,” even though I got rid of it nearly two years ago. After a blog post and a few calls over to the dealership, they agreed that I shouldn’t be receiving these zombie e-mails and that they would make sure such e-mails would stop.
I took them at their word. I mean, these guys have taken care of repairs and maintenance on every car I’ve ever owned.
Last Wednesday, I received an e-mail from DePaula Chevrolet. Here’s a screen capture of what they sent me.
Okay, read that very carefully. “You may have a limited time until the manufacturer warranty expires on your Saturn Ion.” This was sent last Wednesday, September 30th, 2014.
In other words… DePaula still thinks I own Cardachrome, and they’re still sending me zombie solicitation e-mails for me to trade in and sell my car to them. And this was barely a month after they promised me I wouldn’t receive any more of these “You own a 2005 Saturn Ion and we want you to trade it in for another car” e-mails.
So essentially, when they told me I wouldn’t receive these e-mails any more, I now have to assume that they were just patting me on my head and sending me on my merry way, and then probably laughing behind my back and planning another batch of zombie e-mails to drive me nuts.
And you’re probably reading this blog post and saying to me, “For crying out loud, Chuck, it’s just junk e-mail. They probably made a mistake and forgot to delete you from this list.”
I’m not buying that theory. See, this type of e-mail is designed so that if you open it, it’s supposed to look as if someone from DePaula Chevrolet took the time to write you a personal letter about your car. You’re supposed to believe that a conscientious employee at DePaula wants to help you upgrade your old Saturn Ion to a new car, or maybe sell you an aftermarket warranty so that your car will remain roadworthy and you will have peace of mind should something break on the vehicle.
Yeah, we all know that those aftermarket warranties barely cover the replacement of the keychain. And this car was a 2005 Saturn Ion. How many manufacturers’ warranties last for ten years?
But here’s the thing that bothers me. I asked DePaula to stop sending me notices about a car that I haven’t owned in two years. They said they would acquiesce. And as you can see, they didn’t.
Eventually, after several calls to DePaula, I did get in touch with a DePaula representative, who told me that DePaula Chevrolet DIDN’T send out that e-mail. In fact, that e-mail may have actually been generated by General Motors itself, under DePaula Chevrolet’s banner or imprint. Eventually the DePaula representative gave me a number to call (1-800-553-6000) to get my name removed from THAT mailing list (and she swore that my name wasn’t on any of DePaula’s internal mailing lists), but after I tried the 1-800 number a few times, it kept sending me into a phone jail. ARRGH.
And that irritates me.
So here’s the deal, DePaula Chevrolet. Since you couldn’t follow through with what you promised, I believe there are ways in which you can make this up for me. Those ways would include either:
- A full and through car detailing of my ’06 Chevrolet Cobalt, free of charge.
- Oil, power steering fluid and transmission fluid change for my ’06 Chevrolet Cobalt, free of charge.
- Free one-weekend use of either of your floor-display vintage Corvette Stingrays. Maybe the powder blue one, I really like that. ‘Cause I’m thinking of going to Atlantic City for the weekend, and what better way to go gambling than in style…
Realistically, I’m not asking for much. Just an acknowledgement that you (or General Motors) not only made a mistake in soliciting me with a car that I CLEARLY TOLD YOU I don’t own any more, but that you hope to make things right.
Because right now, I’m not feeling like DePaula Chevrolet values me as a customer. I’m feeling like I’m someone whom the company can’t even bother to remember which car I own or which car I don’t own any more. I’m not Chuck Miller, valued General Motors loyalist and devotee of DePaula Chevrolet, so much so that I even asked them to put a DePaula Chevrolet license plate frame on my current car’s license plate. It’s almost as if I’m just some nameless, faceless, meaningless consumer.
And if you guys aren’t willing to treat me like a valued customer…
Then I’m sure that when I need dealer repairs on the Blackbird, or if I decide I want a new General Motors vehicle some day, that there’s another General Motors dealership in the Capital District – perhaps DeNooyer or Northstar or Otto – that will.
I don’t mean to be difficult. But I also don’t want any more 2005 Saturn Ion zombie e-mails.
So let me know when I can drop off the Blackbird for the oil and fluid changes, the detailings, and lend me the keys to one of the Stingrays. ‘K?