How to fluster a phone scammer by pretending to be the police

As you know, I’ve been having a lot of fun lately with telephone scammers and spammers.  Recently I’ve been getting the “Hi, my name is Richard from Windows technical support, your computer is running slow, okay?” calls.

Right.  You sound more like Rajesh than Richard.  And unless that accent of yours belongs to Priyanka Chopra and she’s calling because she needs me to escort her around town for the weekend, you’re not impressing me.  And you’re not getting my money.  And you’re not going to interfere with my life.

With that in mind, last night – right in the middle of my downtime, mind you – I got a call from “unknown” on my Caller ID.

You know… at this point I need to have some fun with these phone scammers.

Yep.  Phone scammer on the other end, pretending to be from a certified computer company who wants to investigate why my computer is running slow.

I kinda wonder, though… do they really know who they’re calling?

Might they have accidentally called the Otswego County Police?

Yes, Otswego County, home of the fictional town of Iverhill, of which I’ve written about many, many times.

After I tell “Peter” that he’s called the police, and that we’re currently tracking down his IP address from the call, and that we’ve received numerous complaints about his company calling our good citizens and corrupting their computers and extorting money and adding pornography to their computers – he got frustrated.

Good.  Get him off script.

And after he called me “just a human being,” followed with “you’re not a human being,” he finally hung up.

And I never got to quip about “Have you no support for blue lives matter?” before he hung up.

Aww, poor little roboscammer.  No cookies for you.

And I know you want to hear this little interaction.

Got’cha covered.

And the funny thing is… now I have to come up with new and unique taunts and teases for these robocallers, spammers, telemarketers and scammers.

But trust me on this.

I can get creative.

VERY creative.

Certainly more creative than these clowns.