Okay, Netflix, here’s one of the reasons I subscribed to you.  Call up the search function.  Spell it out with the remote on my Apple TV … “M… Y… S…” Okay, I’ve got The Mysteries of Laura, and – oh wait, here it is.  Mystery Science Theater 3000, 2017 Edition.  Add this to my “saved” list.

Okay, what’s my first new episode with Crow, Tom Servo and whoever the new guy is …

Holy crap, it’s Reptilicus – the Danish monster movie that was a monster box office flying turkey!

Oh man, I gotta be ready for this … sorry if it sounds like I’m nerding out right now… just deal with it.  This happens for me every time a new Star Wars or Mad Max movie premieres.

First, we get an introduction to the new guy – Jonah, who will wear the yellow jumpsuit of Gizmonic Institute … and an update to the theme song!

Wait … Tom Servo can fly?  Crow has legs and feet?  And Gypsy actually now sounds like a girl?  MIND BLOWN!!

And after a quickie “invention exchange” that pays homage to the old “invention exchanges” first host Joel had with the mad scientists (oh wow, the new Mads are Felicia Day as Dr. Kinga Forrester, and Patton Oswalt as TV’s Son of TV’s Frank – yeah, say that ten times fast), we immediately get movie sign, and after a new stop-motion countdown to the theater, we’re back watching the silhouettes of Crow, Tom Servo and Jonah ranking and riffing on this godawful Danish monster movie.

And after I got over a few modern cultural riff references to jokes about Kickstarter, I just repeated to myself … “It’s just a show, I should really just relax” and enjoyed myself.

I knew Reptilicus was a stinker of a movie – heck, they used to show this on WTEN way back in the 1970’s, I think it was part of a package deal where they showed this film, Don Knotts’ The Reluctant Astronaut and the animated stinker Pinocchio in Outer Space every Saturday afternoon on rotation.  As far as I was concerned, Reptilicus totally deserved the MST3K treatment.  I completely dug the scattershot jokes and snarky comments – it was as if the show had never left, and that as far as I was concerned, I had just missed 18 seasons because my cable company didn’t carry the show’s channel for a while.

But, of course, the true test of MST3K isn’t just the riffing and ranking.  It’s also the moments when the host and the bots step out of the theater and have a comedy bit of their own.  And any concerns I might have had about Jonah as the new host disappeared the moment he performed “Everybody Has A Monster,” a rap track about various monsters from various countries, in a rap style that almost sounded like a Lin-Manuel Miranda leftover Hamilton track.

Oh my Lord this is freakin’ hilarious.  I want to hear it again.  Damn it, iTunes, why can’t I download this song on your service?  Or at least can someone send me a high-quality mp3 of this gem?  😀

All the episodes of the new Mystery Science Theater 3000 revival are available for streaming on Netflix.  And all I can say is …

I’m going to be kinda – shall we say – preoccupied for the next few days.  I hope you’ll understand.

(flashing light on the control panel)